Even in a coma Darryl was able to give a thumbs up for his pick of the the Hurricanes to beat the Chiefs. That proves he is making headway in the fog, because he has always been a great supporter of the Canes and never the bell ringers from the ‘Tron’. Just a shame that the Chiefs snuffed out yet another effort from the yellow and blacks. Anyway I rang and told his nurse to pass the result on to him as promised. Go figure, how the hell can all this happen when he’s in a coma!?!
Today he made a few more baby steps being able to touch his mouth, nose and eyebrows pretty much all of it on his own. His more awake times, do indeed seem more ‘awake’ than they have been. I find myself questioning how these steps can be made while he still remains so deeply asleep. In many ways as the days march on like this I am beginning to fear that he is somehow trapped in a state of coma and there sometimes seems no rational way of coming to grips with his parallel existance in subconsciousness. To be honest, it frightens me. To be honest, everything about this frightens me.
One of the doctors said this evening that they would normally expect people to have woken up by now which made my legs go weak under me and immediately triggered a fear response. I know she wasn’t meaning to cause that, but the concern in her voice was hard to ignore and reality is that when you are on a knife edge it is not hard to get ‘cut’.
I quickly tried to defend Darryl’s comatose state in my own mind; his need for sleep and rest, his positive progress seeming to indicate he was becoming more alert and awake, the numerous other head injuries we have heard of that result in months of coma but eventual recovery. It worked to some extent, but deep down I am just scared and want this nightmare to end and for my son to come back to the world he has so much to offer.
I am angry, tired, hurting and frustrated. I keep telling myself it is a test, a test of patience and strength of character. Well you know what, I’ve been tested enough and so has my family and you as friends. This is just cruel and Darryl doesn’t deserve to be laying in a hospital having dribble sucked from his mouth. I just feel so helpless and I hate it.
Well now I’ve got that off my chest, I want you to know that regardless of what the ‘norm’ is or isn’t for head injury, Darryl will beat it. He is not doing what is normal, because he isn’t normal, he’s exceptional.
Darryl, it was once said by Winston Churchill that ” Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality that guarantees all the others.” You are as courageous a young man as I know and I look to your courage to find resolve in myself, to waken each day and dismiss the nausea of reality that pervades each morning, knowing that you will not give in. You will never give in.
Mike
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