Three weekends ago, Catherine and I were able to leave our temporary Auckland home and return to our home in the Far north to celebrate our daughter Brenna’s 5th birthday. It was the first time Darryl and I had been home since D-Day on the 25th of April. It was a terrific weekend on a whole lot of levels and was the last time Darryl really used his wheelchair. At that time he was able to stand and balance and I walked him by standing in front of him with a hand on his hip and shoulder, guiding him forward as I walked backwards like some sort of rehab rhumba . It was awkward but it was upright – that was the main thing.
Within a week of that major milestone we had switched from the rehab rhumba to the the stick of misery shuffle. Darryl used the lancewood staff he carved me in a style akin to less than fleet-footed kaumatua as a balancing tool. This seemed to work well to give him a tripod-type grip on the earth. The following weekend, he went solo and walked a total of three bursts of 20 metres with no stick, no rhumba partner and just me shadowing him from behind to catch him if he fell.
And this weekend, some three weeks after he ‘rose from the chair’ he walked with strength and purpose through the house , out of the garage and down the driveway to the road and back. This is about an 80 metre return trip and he did it three times over the course of the weekend. More importantly though, having spent a lot of the week at the gym strengthening and trying to better coordinate his right knee and hip (which had been collapsing badly as he walked, through weakness and lack of muscle control) Darryl was walking without the right leg giving way. This is significant as it is key to getting back to a normal gait. All this in three weeks. Not bloody bad I reckon!!
It has all come about as a result of a lot of strength and foundation work over the past few months but over the last week we have really ramped up his walking in terms of distance. He has done six to eight minute bursts on the treadmill at a time, the best being a total of 15 minutes on Thursday, amassing a total distance of 400 metres. I have also managed to have a couple of extra ’strength’ sessions added to Darryl’s week at the gym, Jim, but not as you know it, which gives Darryl a bit of focus for the afternoons to keep building the momentum that has been created.
On top of this great progress, Darryl has been making good improvement with his right arm, which I’m thrashing to be honest. We do a range of bilateral exercise (using both arms at the same time) and the stick of misery comes in very handy for bench and shoulder press and a range of other helpful exercises. He can now do a one arm standing press up with his right arm against the wall while he dips in and then pushes back. He has been using a one kilo weight to do a number of exercises and he can now hold his right arm in the air while he is laying on his back and move it up and down a little and around in small circles. When he is down on hands and knees he can also raise his left arm and right leg off the ground which shows building strength in that right arm. The key is getting that right shoulder working and I doubt either of us is going to stop until that is achieved.
The highlight of the week ahead is not just Darryl’s 19th birthday, but the fact that he will be yet again joining the All Blacks as their guest at the Captain’s run in Hamilton prior to the game against the Springboks. It’s hard to explain what a powerful motivating tool the All Blacks have provided by inviting Darryl to join them at their local fixtures. He strives to achieve milestones in anticipation of each new opportunity to see the guys and when players and management share sincere admiration at Darryl’s strength, courage and determination, Darryl fills with pride, as I do. They are experiences we both treasure, despite the obvious and tragic irony of the circumstances that have led to these unique opportunites.
In any event, this time Darryl will walk up to the players at the Captain’s run and walk around the ground to the bench on Saturday at match time. It all goes to show that a little bit of luck and a huge amount of hard work will bring rewards of equivalent standing, no pun intended.
Darryl, we are heading onto the home straight mate. In a little over four weeks we will head home, to a home that all of us will appreciate on many more levels for this experience. In some ways it is hard to fathom just how far you have come over the past four months. I still can’t bring myself to read back over this diary as the memories are too raw and I am almost scared to reflect on the pain and anxiety of days gone as if doing so would somehow claw back the joy of success and achievement of now.
In a few days you will turn 19, a birthday we were told you wouldn’t see. While it is significant, in many ways each and every day since D-Day has been a birthday of sorts. You have had to start again and over these months I have ticked off so many milestones that I remember from many years ago. It is almost like you have grown up all over over again. The difference being Darryl, that for every physical hurdle you have overcome, you have grown in strength, character and fabric.
A few days ago you said to me “I’ll be a better man for this won’t I Dad?” . Darryl, you will be a man amongst men, an inspiration amongst the inspired, the best example amongst examples of the best. Life delivered a true test of you, a test that you have not bowed to, but risen above, at every juncture. It is not so much that you will be a better man Darryl, more so that the man you already are, will be better.
You have my deepest admiration and respect Darryl. Be proud and always stand tall.
Love always.
Dad
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