From the Wednesday on, the thin thread of hope we were hanging on to seemed to grow a little thicker. One of the first real ‘positive’ signs was when I heard a nurse yelling at Darryl in the early hours of the morning to give her a “thumbs up”. When I returned to his bedside a few minutes later I was too scared to ask if he had responded, really feeling it couldn’t possibly be achievable. A little later on his nurse calmly explained that she was pleased he had given her a thumbs up on command. I just about wet myself!! What a breakthrough.
Over the first few days I had spent a lot of time telling each of his nurses and the doctors that Darryl had a heart like and ox and the stubbornness of a mule. That if anyone was going to have the mental and physical strength to get out of this situation it would be him. I wanted them to know they were dealing with a very very determined and strong-willed young man who wouldn’t give up! I could tell in the early days that they were listening but not really believing that that would be enough, or that it would make a difference. It’s not hard to see why. So many who come into that ward don’t make it, despite their world-class care.
But after the Wednesday they started to get what I was meaning and the possibility of survival didn’t seem so unrealistic. All I know is that after that Wednesday the constant obituary that was running through my mind despite my best efforts to not have such thoughts, disappeared.
Once the ‘trachie’ went in he seemed to improve and within a day he was off the ventilator and breathing on his own, unsupported by machines. From that point on he was technically not on life support, although he was and is still in a coma as a result of the head trauma.
As Darryl tends to do, he re-invents the wheel and was doing things they weren’t expecting and also not obeying commands for everyone. We have worked out that a strong male voice or a female voice that you would liken to a school principal in full cry are who he seems to listen to most. Not surprisingly to date he has not listened to me either. That’s a great sign of course because he hasn’t listened to me for the last two years, so that is perfectly normal!
On the Friday morning the 1st of May the nursing staff in the critical care unit informed me he would be moved later in the day to the High Dependency Unit (HDU) which was a step we didn’t expect to be making, so we were quite buoyed by that. Later that afternoon I gathered up all the pictures that Brenna (his younger sister) had done for him and walked behind him as his bed was rolled down the corridor to ward 81.
The focus in HDU is more on recovery than survival which does give you some comfort although they are quick to tell us he is “not out of the woods”. He has settled down well and most of the horrendous swelling we saw over the first 3 days has gone. His colour is good and his beard is growing well. In fact on the face of it he looks that relaxed that you feel like you want to slap him on the face and tell him to wake the hell up!
At this point he is still in a coma and is responding to commands inconsistently, but still doing it appropriately when he does (i.e. show me your left thumb, results in left thumb rising) He still has a chest infection with they are treating with antibiotics and his temperature is still a little high.
The natural thing to ask is when they think he will come out of the coma, but the answer is never too comforting. They don’t know when, or if he will emerge from the coma and it is just a waiting game. For those that know me, you will know I am about as patient as Darryl, so waiting is gong to be bloody tough for a multitude of reasons.
Over Saturday and Sunday he has been pretty stable from what I can tell and he looks like he is resting. We just hope with all our hearts that his fighting spirit will see him through.
It just remains at this point for me to offer my sincerest thanks to my family and those closest to Darryl who have rallied to his bedside to support him, me and the rest of us in his family. Catherine and I have been humbled by the support of our family. Equally we also want to thank all his friends and people across the north and beyond who have sent their wishes, prayers and thoughts to Darryl and to us. It is heartwarming to have you ‘with’ us in this and I truly feel that your combined thoughts are helping him in his hour of need. Please keep it up.
Thank you for now.
Mike Sabin
I could not even begin to think of what life must be for you and your family right now. Just know that the thoughts of many Mums & Dads are with you and wishing Darryl a full and speedy recovery.
All I can say is my heart goes out to you and your family. Your son is a trooper and it sounds like he has motivation to recover to his fullest potential. I wish you guys are the best…
Some people defy logic and medicine and overcome. They do this because they are strong in spirit and are so well loved. The spirit that Darryl has has put him in that bed, and that same spirit will get him out. With 2 grown sons of my own I can appreciate the pain must be absolutely unbearable. He has survived the worst so believe that he must win this battle. I am a police officer and I know that every person thats part of that organization, that police family, will support Darryl, you and your family, in spirit and in thought. Wishing you all the very best and take care. We will watch this site for news.
My heart goes out to you all – Darryl, Brook, Megan, Mike and Catherine, and all the extended family and friends who love Darryl. I empathise with the intense and ongoing grief you are all enduring.
It was many years ago, but having a memory like an elephant, I still have countless fond recollections and a lot of love in my heart for the two adorable, loving Sabin boys I had the pleasure of knowing in their younger years.
I also have a deep understanding of what you are experiencing as my brother Carl suffered life threatening head injuries last year. We are very fortunate that over time, he has made a miraculous recovery. I am hoping and praying for a similar recovery for Darryl. My heart is on the rollercoaster with you guys, just waiting for ongoing sign of recovery. You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday.
With love & God Bless
Ginny
We don’t really know eachother and I have never met Darryl, but I am thinking of him and you, his family, every day. If anyone can do it, he can! If you need any practical help here up north while you are in Auckland, e.g. watering plants or whatever, let me know. Lots of love from Eva, Radha’s mum
Dear Mike & Cathrine,
So sorry to get the news about Darryl yesterday, our thoughts and prayers are with you, and we think of him constantly.
Sorry we are not home, if we were there, you know we would be there to help.
We will keep in touch with Darryls progress and know that we will see home when we get back.
Kind regards and love.
Murray & Barbara
Dear Mike,
The thoughts, wishes and prayers of our family are with you all constantly.
Craig, Nicole, Adyn & Paige Dudley
Our thoughts are with you all as you help Darryl thru to his road to recovery.We wish him a full and speedy recovery, special thoughts to Mike,Catherine Merlene and Lew.
Our thoughts are with you all Mike,Catherine, Merlene, Lew and families as you help Darryl back to the road to recovery
love Dorothy and Len
We were devastated to hear about the accident. Wayne had only seen Darryl a few days prior and was going to walk over and say hi but thought he’d leave it till next time.
My heart goes to you as parents, I have only meet Darryl breifly, though must say if he is half as stubborn as someone we know then he will no doubt defy the odds. Things are sounding more optimistic, huge improvement from when I first heard. Thinking of you all and make sure you look after each other.
Love ULa and Wayne
Mike, Catherine,Brook,Brenna & Family,
My heart & Mind is with you ALL during this trying time –
No family should have to be torn apart like this, but, unfortunately life is hard……..
Believe me I know what it is like waiting in those claustrophobic rooms & corridors waiting for information – I lost my only son at 26 and empathize with you.
I am not prone to contacting complete strangers but I just want you to know that you are not alone -
That the wonderful work you are doing to fight the dreaded scourge of ‘P’ will be rewarded by the return to complete health and happiness of your beloved son and Brother Darryl.
May many blessings and much love comfort you at such a difficult time.
A Mum who lost a a precious loved one.
I’ve prayed for this young man, that God would restore him, that he would wake up from his sleep. Only God can wake him and this is what we must pray for. The bible says that nothing is impossible to God. Amen
Darryl, You have a wonderful dad and you can be proud of him. He took time out to speak on the Napier incident despite what was happening around him.
At christmas time 2007 my nephew was in the same ward you are and after a few days he began to respond, he had stopped breathing for 20 minutes before being found, the final decision was about to be made when he squeezed my sisters hand so tight that the doctors said there was nothing in the manual about dealing with such a change but they put him in the high dependency ward (82) and he fully recovered and is very normal today. This is a unique journey for you and I know you can hear everything that is going on around you as my nephew said that was what frustrated him the most, he could not communicate what he wanted to. Be strong Darryl you will recover from this the important thing is to let your brain repair its self.