On the afternoon of ANZAC day, Saturday the 25th of April 2009, our much loved son, brother, grandson and friend of so many, Darryl Sabin, entered a monumental battle of his own, the fight for his life.
Darryl who will be 19 in September, was playing his second game of rugby since suffering a serious head injury in March 2007 while playing for Eastern under 18’s. On this latest occasion he was playing for Te Hapua, at Te Hapua and true to form he was the team captain and leading from the front.
As we understand it, Darryl took the ball up from a tap and go and was hit in a tackle described to us as “high” and he was knocked backwards striking his head on the ground which rendered him unconscious. Darryl regained consciousness and staggered off the field where we were told he fell into a coma, began fitting and vomiting, much like I remember from the 2007 incident.
An ambulance was called but at around 4.20 pm that afternoon one of the Northland Rescue helicopters arrived at the ground to transport him by air to hospital. I rang the ambulance comms center and told them of his history and stressed that his previous injury involved a bleed on the brain and I would expect the same with this one and they worked quickly to get him to Whangarei where he was quickly scanned while the helicopter kept its rotors turning. They identified a significant bleed to the right side of his brain and I was informed by phone by the doctor at A&E that he was being flown to Auckland for emergency brain surgery to relieve the pressure on his brain.
Brook, Darryl’s brother happened to be in Whangarei and rushed to the hospital and went with Darryl in the helicopter to Auckland, keeping Catherine and I updated as we drove south from Mangonui.
We arrived at Auckland hospital at about 9.30 pm on Saturday night and met with Brook. We then just had to wait as Darryl was still in surgery. Nothing can describe the immense feeling of worry that consumed the three of us as we sat there waiting to hear from the surgery team.
Almost two hours later a doctor emerged to tell us of the severity of the injury and that they had just about lost him during the operation and that he was a “very very sick boy”. My fingers and hands are shaking just typing this, so raw is the gut wrenching pain that still exists at receiving the news. Worse was yet to come.
We were taken through to a meeting room in the Critical Care unit, where we sat awaiting an update from the specialists on the ward. It was another hour or so later that we met Dr. Les Galler a specialist of more than 20 years experience in this field, who delivered the most devastating news of my life. He said that “Darryl has suffered a catastrophic head injury, which is more than likely going to kill him”. For Catherine, Brook and I, that moment is and will always be, chiseled into our minds.
He went on to explain the degree of the injury and that to prevent brain death they had performed a craniotomy which involved removing a large part of the skull over the site of the bleeding to firstly remove the blood clotting and then allow the brain room to swell. He explained what happens in these situations and all the news he gave us was equally devastating. Basically we were told to prepare for the worst. Our world was crashing down around us and we all just wanted to see him and be beside him.
An hour or so later we were allowed in to see him and what greeted us was a terrible site. As you can well image he had all the manner tubes poking out from him and he was hooked up to every piece of equipment I think they could fit into his patient space. We couldn’t do anything but stand there in shock with tears rolling down our cheeks.
Over the next two sleepless days and nights they worked hard to stabilise Darryl as best they could, treating a chest infection that had started, trying to cool him down and minimise the swelling and devastation to his brain. Over this time Darryl was consistently demonstrating very alarming characteristics of what they said was a very severe brain injury. The news just kept getting worse and while you cling on to hope by a thread, the harsh realities of his struggle to hold on to life are reinforced hourly.
Other family arrived over the first couple of days and I was reminded of the heartache Brook was experiencing as a brother, when in the early hours of Sunday morning, my brother Len arrived to provide support. Len was a rock for us all in those first few hours and over the days that passed and it heightened my sense of what Brook stood to lose with his only brother lying helpless in critical care fighting for his life.
His mother Megan and her family along with mine and Catherine’s family all rallied around and I searched for answers and signs of anything that may show hope. Then half way through day three, having spoken to Dr. Galler in the morning and had my worst fears reinforced (again), Dr. Galler approached me and said something else I will never forget; “Darryl has done a few things that have surprised us. There are some signs there that make us feel we need to give him the benefit of the doubt”.
Having hours before been told by the same doctor that basically the end was approaching, this was of course a major relief, albeit it you may find it hard to comprehend it is possible to feel relief in the midst of the rollercoaster through a nightmare. I was told by Dr. Galler that Darryl had started to respond to some basic voice commands such as squeezing a hand, wiggling his toes and had started to ‘localise’ to pain, which is doctors speak for reaching for where the source of induced pain is. To me this seemed a huge leap given he could obviously hear the command, process it and then comply with it.
In any event, Dr. Galler said they would perform a tracheostomy which involves putting a breathing tube into his throat which was described as a turning point in terms of now focusing on a stronger possibility of survival. As I have described to a few people over the last week, you don’t really hear what you’d call ‘good news’ in critical care, you just hear news that can be anything from bad to incredibly bad. In this sense something that would have otherwise seemed devastating news (Hey your son can wiggle his toes if I yell at him) becomes really good news even though a few days earlier before the injury it would have seemed a disaster.
As mother of an almost 19 year old I would just like to wish you, Catherine and Brook strength and hope.
There is nothing like that air in the CCU and the despair of those who are standing there but I hope with all my heart that it won’t be long before you are all out in the fresh air again.
Your life now is condensed into the minute but such important details. I hope that every little change in Darrly is for the good and that the karma of good things flows in your direction.
I am a stranger to you Mike and know of you only through hearing you on the radio and learning of the great work you are doing in repairing the hideous work of “P”.
I am not prone to contacting complete strangers but I just wanted to add my best wishes to you and your family at this most awful time for you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you face the most trying of times.
God Bless
i coached darrel for the school cricket team at taipa
determined would be an understatement ..
all my feelings and hopes for d and his family
time to pad up darrel
phill
Hi Mike, Im wishing you and your family all the very very best and my thoughts and prayers are with you all, especially for your son during this testing and trying time.
Yours sincerely
Mok Smallman
(Your old PTI from Police Training)
i can’t even begin to know what you are going thru but my thoughts and prayers are with Darryl and his family at this time.Stay strong and close
Hi Darryl and all of his family,
I don’t know any of you but my thoughts and prayer’s are with you all during this very difficult time.
Hang in there and THUMB’S UP DARRYL!!
Luv
Beth
Mike so shocked to hear of this .. mate im in Auckland so if there is anything I can do to help please call me… like come around for dinner or to sleep or whatever mate. DOnt hesitate to ask.. in fact i insist.
Glenn
Cowboy Up Darryl, we know you can do it, stay strong and fight your way back to full strength. Thinking of you Mike, Catherine, Brooke and Brenna, we know what it’s like stuck at hospital waiting for improvments and hanging on to every hope. Good luck and stay strong.
Hi, I do not follow rugby much -however my thoughts are with the family and we pray for his speedy recovery
I am sure Darryl is hearing evryone and I hope our collective best wishes in some small way assist in his full recovery.
Kia Kaha
Hi do not follow rugby either but I have had an experience of what the family is going through. A small poem of hope.
Although I seem to be far away
Your conversations save the day
As my eyes are constantly shut
My memories of you all is what I’ve got
I know you all want me to wake up
But give me time and I’ll be back
God bless and keep you safe my prayers
are with you Darryl
Yo Darryl, you hang in there mate. One of your friends from Kaitaia and I was devestated to hear the news from my mum. I in Aucks at uni on the shore, hope to be visiting you sitting up and talking soon. Sorry I missed your phone call a few weeks ago, didnt have phone on me, but will catch up soon. Just know I am cheering for you to get well, and so is my mum and dad Lynette and James and family. Their thoughts and prayers are with you and your family too. Hang in their bro.
Our prayers are with you all.
Plamus family praying for your full recovery.
Thoughts are also of your Mum & Dad and family.
Thumbs up Darryl,
Pip
Hey ya Mike.
Mate what tragic news for you, Katherine and the whole family. Be assured that we are thinking of you, as is everyother Northlandlander. Be strong & be patient. Everybody at work is talking of the fight that you are all facing, with the determination that you possess I believe you will get through.
I will try your phone again.
Kindest regards Tony & Jules
Hello to the Sabin Whanau,
Like everyone else here in the very Far North we wish a speedy recovery for Darryl and peace for your family as you keep vigil over him…Darryls Nana and Grandad called into our Store a couple of days before the accident on their way to stay at his home on the Block. Im sure they enjoyed themselves and will always cherish their special visit. Darryl calls in every now and then and we find him very courteous and polite..Anyone who turns out for Te Hapua Team has to be a fighter so keep it going mate…God bless
To The Quizz Master (Mike)
thoughts are with you and your family for Darryls recovery
see you back on the courts soon
keep fighting Darryl
from all of us at the club
The team at Mainfreight are thinking of you Mike. Our very best wishes to Darryl.
Kind Regards,
Debi Fitzpatrick
Mike and Family,
My thoughts and hope are with you.
Stay strong and never lose faith.
Wishing Darryl a speedy recovery.
Regards
Laura
Best wishes for your recovery, Darryl. Sounds like you’re making good progress, so keep it up mate. An old person needs your bed!
Roger Wakefield and Jenny Grant
Coopers Beach
Piki te ora piki te kaha Daryl.Kia kaha kia manawanui.Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your whanau Max, hang in there mate. From G.K.H. of I.S.O. Tauranga.
we know only too well what you are going through as you wait for your son’s condition to improve .
our son was also brain injured some 5 years ago . he had the craniotomy,wore the rugby helmet and had the bone replaced some 4/5 weeks later
If we can be of any help or reassure you please contact us .
we have a wonderful outcome and our son is 21 now . His was a severe injury -train vs human.
Hold on and BELIEVE. It takes time and lots of love and support
I heard your interview on the radio tonight and my family wants you to know we are thinking of you and hoping that each day is a day of “promise “.We kept a diary as you are and each day was a milestone
our love and support
Adrienne and family
My thoughts and best wishes are with you all as you fight the good fight. From how he has been described to me, Darryl is a true fighter and he will need every ounce of his legendary stoic determination to see this battle through. Your parental concern, fear and hope comes through clearly in your words Mike,
I had a touch of this anguish when my own so was ‘cleaned up’ by a car prior to christmas. To see your loved son, brother and friend in such a state must be such a test of your strength. My very very best to you all and and to Darryl a speedy and full recovery.
Keith O’Donnell.
Our prays and positive thoughts are with you Darryl, keep battling, you can do it.
To Mike and Catherine
Just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you
every day.That Darryl stays strong and keeps fighting hard to get through this.
Im going to work extra hard for you at pump classes Catherine now they are to days a week.
From Catherine
mike, I was horrified to hear out about your son and thought, “is this the boy who came on a school trip to our station, how many years ago…?” and then I realised it was that same boy, the one who wrote me the most amazing thank you letter, and I was doubly saddened!
I remember thinking at that time “what an exceptional young guy” and by the sounds of it he certainly has grown into someone very special.
I know I am one of many who are now willing Darryl to recover and I wish you and your family strength, patience and love as you face each day.
We have only met you half a dozen times but it was enough to impress us. Our thoughts have been with you and hope you will soon be back enjoying the outdoors.
Our Manager, Bryce Wigley and wife Karen also wish you well and send their regards. Look forward to your return up north.
Regards, Murray and Sue Owen
Portland Farms
hey Mike I remember Daryl playing rugby with my son Daniel at Kamo.Even back then he was the first to pick up the ball and take a quick tap,fearlessly charging at the opposition.
Love and strength to you all
Ken
Hi Mike and Family.
I wish to extend my support to you all at this time. Darryl has always been a fighter for what he believes in. From the first day I met him in year 10 he was never going to back down, or give up. I firmly believe that this is just another chance for him to prove this.
Darryl is not only a a great sportsman, he is a role model and leader. He is still known as the guy from Taipa that beat Keri High. We had a tournament early this year and the other teams were relived to see he wasn’t there, although our guys missed him.
All the best
Hayden, Liz and the kids.
Mike and Family
We are thinking of you and your family, And your mum and dad,at this time. Just take care of yourselves,
Darryl you will get through this you come from a strong family.
All the best
Rowan, Robyn, Lana, Daniel and Josh
Hey guys, you know we all here for you, willing our strength onto Darryl. And when Dad reads this to you Darryl, just remember last time we saw you, you promised to go clubbing with Zoe and Shelley, something they’re going to hold you to! We love you bud, never let go.
Karen, Dave, Zoe & Shelley
Mike, Catherine & Family.
We have been thinking of you all & are following your daily diary of events. Just wanted to say ‘Everyone cares in your journey & wants Darryl to heal carefully’ WOW….What a really terrific family you have & such a strong, compassionate bond. It will surely help with the healing. ‘Mike’, your the best dad. If Darryl can hear, he must so proud to have a dad like you & feel so cared & loved for by all your family & friends. Good on you all for striving to beat the odds. We’re all behind you.
Darryl. Get well soon. Everyone knows you can do it.
Spence Julia & family
Dear Mike and Catherine,
I was very touched by your story having gone through the same thing with my daughter. I am a certified homeopath and would love to help you and your family. Keep fighting Darryl, don’t give up.
Yes, Darryl can hear you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Joelle
keep strong, keep positive! My thoughts and prayers are with you all now and will be in tne future for the difficult times ahead.
Dear Mike,Catherine,Darryl and family,
We have you in our thoughts and know that Darryl is fighting hard to heal. We know how determined you are Darryl, you can do this. We are thinking of you always.
Rachelle Dennis Gabriel Ryan Tegan
To the Sabin Family, our thoughts and preyers are with you all at this time,Especialy your Mum & Dad. And to Darryl Piki te ora,Piki te kaha,kia kaha, kia manawanui. God Bless you, Pineaha Selwyn & Whanau.And All the Whanau in Te Hapua
Saw your story tonight on Campbell Live. It was a story that our 11 year old watched with great intend. April 2008 he was hit by a jetski and we were told he would die, after 6 months of rehab the doctors gave him the news that he would not be able to play rugby which devasated him but he know can see it is definitely not the thing to do since having a brain injury. Our thoughts are with you and Darryl for a good outcome.
The Cure Family
Auckland
To the Sabin Family. Our thoughts are with you at this time.One cannot imagine what you must be going through having been lucky enough not to experience such a accident within our family.We can only offer our prayers and thoughts to you all. We have family travelling from Coopers Beach to Auckland this weekend should there be anything you would like taken down. It would be our pleasure to deliver anything to you should you require.
Don & Carollyn Mackenzie
Dear Mike, Cathy, Brooke, Daryl and Brenna, you are in our hearts,and prayers especially at this time [when science and technology are not completely convincing] Remember this Daryl! you have God’s power in you. May this Power empower you and re create a new life. During our converstion last time at the birth day party, you assured me that you are getting there and you will come off better than many. We love your gentle, adventurous smiles and determination. Let your greatness shine and the glory of God be revealed in your healing. Your courageous determination is the best anti- biotic and pro biotic. Keep it up as we continue our daily prayers for you.
Affectionately, Nayagars.
I am the proud Grandma of 4 beautiful grandsons………hearing your story on Campbell Live last evening has put a face to my deep concerns for the longterm safety of my grandsons ,two of whom are now 9 and 8,and have played league since they were three and four.They have wonderful parents,keen sports enthusiasts,Dad has coached Mum has managed them.
I am a nurse and very familiar with head injuries.
I support your views on the need for more accountability from sports clubs.
Kia Kaha to you and your family never doubt for a milli second that Darryl can`t hear you ,just when you think you will never smile again life comes back.
To Mike and family, we send you all our love and thoughts at this distressing time and hope and pray that Darryl will make a good recovery. As grandparents of two lads 22 & 19, we can only imagine what you are all going through at this time. Talking to Darryl and relaying these precious heartfelt messages, certainly will help him, as even while in a coma, one can still hear. God bless you all and we look forward to a good recovery for your precious son Darryl, very soon. Take care xoxoxoxox
)
Hi Darryl
Waitiki Landing Mothers Day come fundraiser for Daryl Sabin to help with his full recovery.
Mothers Day 10th May -BBQ Lunch (Donation) Dry Weet bix eat, Tua Tua eating comp, Tug a War, keg race, pull a truck strong man and what ever else we can make up.
Te Hapua Club is having a hangi for mothers day.
Te Hapua Club is also going to have a bucket battons up funraiser for Darryl at a latter date.
When the Paua station boys found out you had movement they all celebrated, Deans singing is still left to be desired although we can send a tape of him down and your dad can play it to you we think you’ll get a kick out of it Lupi Brown all nite said good news ehy good news ehy Lats just couldnt stop simling.
Diane told you to take Ruby her dog to rugby so when the girls saw the dog they would say what a cute dog and that was your chance to score !next time you want to listen.
Tea at Diane and Leos still stands you where there vacume cleaner every nite Diane laughs at the smily faces she puts on your apple pies. Leo smiles when he talks about you and him dog trialing.
KIA KAHA
From all of us
Hi Mike.
If it helps at all….. I was involved in an event where a mate suffered a huge bleed on the brain one evening.
We got him to Auckland Hospital alive and the staff there took over at around 8.30pm.
Throughout that night we were quickly educated by the staff about the statistics of survaival of the night (less than 20%), survival of the next day ( lesss than 15%), the next week and the next month (Etc Etc), and if he got through all that then on the statistics of a permanent disability (less than 20%).
It was all too horrific to contemplate and assimilate on the night…..and to this day I am not sure why they felt that we had to know all this stuff…particularly his distraught family.
Our friend suffered quite a few complications over the next few weeks, including further bleeds and “strokes” whilst the doctors managed to clip off the bleed…..and then began the rehabilitation process.
Suffice to say that now after some 11 months he is up and around and back to his old self. He has a few balance issues, but they diminish by the week and he is well on the way back to normality and happiness and living life at a hell of a pace again.
I wish you all hope with this situation…..and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I and many of our friend’s mates were sure that there was no way through it for him….but he is now living and breathing proof of what can be hoped for.
Best regards
Chris Stiebel
Rothesay Bay
Auckland
We read about Darryl’s injury in the Herald tonight, so you can imagine how shocked we are. Our thoughts are with you but we know your love and support will help his recovery.
Kiora Darryl,
Our prayers and thoughts are with you . Hang in their Darryl, we know you can make it. Look forward to catching up with you, when we are next in New Zealand.
Thinking of you all (Family) as you wait for Darryl to wake up from his healing sleep. He will, keep positive.
God bless,
Love
Linda & Flossy Smith, Queensland , Australia
HI Mike – I heard you on National Radio last week and felt compelled to write to say my thoughts and prayers are with you all. Your strength and Darryl’s determination will hopefully see you through this dreadful time.
Take care and my best wishes to you and your family.
Jo Bell
Thank you Mike for coming to speak at the Stellar Trust dinner and for sharing so much with us last evening.
Darryl you’ve obviously been blessed with talent and determination. Add to this, the role model you have in your father, we can safely assume that you too will be a man with a great and active heart for others. Use all that determination right now this Sunday morning! Thumbs up!
There is a crack in everything – that’s how the light gets in. I pray that this time of struggle and heartache in your family, will ultimately bless and enrich you all in some way, the way difficult times often do.