Even in a coma Darryl was able to give a thumbs up for his pick of the the Hurricanes to beat the Chiefs. That proves he is making headway in the fog, because he has always been a great supporter of the Canes and never the bell ringers from the ‘Tron’. Just a shame that the Chiefs snuffed out yet another effort from the yellow and blacks. Anyway I rang and told his nurse to pass the result on to him as promised. Go figure, how the hell can all this happen when he’s in a coma!?!
Today he made a few more baby steps being able to touch his mouth, nose and eyebrows pretty much all of it on his own. His more awake times, do indeed seem more ‘awake’ than they have been. I find myself questioning how these steps can be made while he still remains so deeply asleep. In many ways as the days march on like this I am beginning to fear that he is somehow trapped in a state of coma and there sometimes seems no rational way of coming to grips with his parallel existance in subconsciousness. To be honest, it frightens me. To be honest, everything about this frightens me.
One of the doctors said this evening that they would normally expect people to have woken up by now which made my legs go weak under me and immediately triggered a fear response. I know she wasn’t meaning to cause that, but the concern in her voice was hard to ignore and reality is that when you are on a knife edge it is not hard to get ‘cut’.
I quickly tried to defend Darryl’s comatose state in my own mind; his need for sleep and rest, his positive progress seeming to indicate he was becoming more alert and awake, the numerous other head injuries we have heard of that result in months of coma but eventual recovery. It worked to some extent, but deep down I am just scared and want this nightmare to end and for my son to come back to the world he has so much to offer.
I am angry, tired, hurting and frustrated. I keep telling myself it is a test, a test of patience and strength of character. Well you know what, I’ve been tested enough and so has my family and you as friends. This is just cruel and Darryl doesn’t deserve to be laying in a hospital having dribble sucked from his mouth. I just feel so helpless and I hate it.
Well now I’ve got that off my chest, I want you to know that regardless of what the ‘norm’ is or isn’t for head injury, Darryl will beat it. He is not doing what is normal, because he isn’t normal, he’s exceptional.
Darryl, it was once said by Winston Churchill that ” Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality that guarantees all the others.” You are as courageous a young man as I know and I look to your courage to find resolve in myself, to waken each day and dismiss the nausea of reality that pervades each morning, knowing that you will not give in. You will never give in.
Mike
IMO what the Dr said was not only foot in mouth but also wrong. “Normally hope…” may have been their intended thought, and would perhaps have perhaps been best left as an internal monologue. From all I’ve read there is no normal timeline and 1 mth is still early. Ah well Drs are often frayed, sometimes untactful, and can say silly stuff just like anyone. Even small steps are huge & magnify hope. As someone outside this (& a nurse), I feel 100x more hopeful than if you were reporting no responsiveness. I think like your little girl you all just need to stay strong in belief and to picture Darryl will sometime be up and real busy, and then the long sleepytime will be near forgot. unfortunately believe this way minus the wand idea though.
Surviving this far, and making steady progress says a lot. He got medical care fast too, so he really has got a lot going for him, At the end of the day healing, even from great trauma, is the most natural thing in the world – especially for the strong willed life loving type of guy you describe. He’s there, and with the intense support he’s getting I’d bet hes pushing himself too – that much wanted breakthrough could come anytime.
hey, Mike. Dont take too much of what the doctor said. He just trying to hurt your feeling. He does not know your son so much. By what he said to you, you should feel angry cos you know Darryl is different than a normall person. He will fight over it. I tursted him also you. I am really tired now. I just back home from uni and I have to work tomorrow.
I dont think I will able to read the post tomorrow night as I have to stay overnight at uni tomorrow night but I will try my best to take time to read ya post. night.
“Go the Hurricanes
They played a great game,
pipped right in the end.”
Morning Dazzla
Glad to hear of your hurricanes support,bummer they did’nt make it to the finals. Maybe next year hey!!! We sould go watch a game live, would be mean.
Was thinking about you heaps last night, hope you are well today
and keep the storming at bay.
Shit its freezing up here mate, the mornings are crisp as.
The boys have a home game this morning against westerns – should
be fun. Good for the boys to learn the importance of hosting an event, they are putting an effort into making their plate of food to bring, pretty cool.
Allen and the germans that we have staying with us for a while were down in kerikeri for the week cleaning out the rest of the house and making a start on the sheds. Oh man a lifetime of STUFF collected, needs to be moved up onto the new farm. They had a fire going constantly the whole day and its still not finnished.
I am sure you remember what all the sheds looked like, so i know you can relate to the mission. Soon to be another TICK off the slowley dwindling list. Yay.
Well Mate today marks one month, glad you are making progress
we are very proud of you as all your mates are. Seem to be missing you more, not sure why – guess its because we would have seen you around home by now, and that been snatched away from us.
We will get it back – ten fold
Much Love to you DAZZLA, and your family
Waiting and waiting – The Tubbs Family
Dont give in Darryl, whatever you do!!!!
This world needs people like you
You have the fight of a true warrior!!
Kamate kamate!!!
Kia kaha buddy !!
Love and regards, Bill Thurston x x x
Mike, Predicting the outcome of a brain injury can be as tricky as forecasting the Northland weather, sometimes the conditions give every indication of sunshine and you get wet, other times, rain and cloud is predicted and we wake to glorious sunshine. In my experience no two people recovering from the catastrophe of a brain injury are the same, similar, sometimes, but always different and often surprising.
Keep hoping for the best and be ready for less, one thing is for sure, whatever the outcome for Darryl it will be the best anyone in his position could hope for, he has such strength in you and the rest of his family and friends to bring him through to whatever the future holds.
Keep well and hold on tight to your belief that your family will get through this.
Good morning
The description of Darryl fighting his way through fog is an excellent metaphor for where Darryl appears to be at. It’s almost as if he’s looking at you all from just beneath the surface of those somewhat calmed waters. Your instincts continue to be spot-on Mike, don’t ever doubt them, they & his whaunau are the best advocates Darryl has in his corner.
Darryl, keep challenging the medical model of rules and moulds…sometimes it is right that they are broken, if for no other reason to remind us all that there is still much that is unknown, unpredictable & unproven in the world of medical science. Darryl, you are rightly reminding those of us within the profession that we should not blithely accept ‘proven’, previously established outcomes as status quo.
I have every faith & confidence that you will continue to break boundaries and conquer challenges yet to be faced on your journey home.
Much love to you all
Virg
Hey Darryl,
Cant say i actually watched this game, but will take the victory all the same.
Being a Waikato girl now, could i please just take a moment to skite about our awesome game last night? hahaha Na im sorry mate, we were just a bit too good for you this year.
I can tell your sooo close to waking up!! just a little bit further! we know all about fog down here. sometimes its almost so bad you have to pull over and wait for it to lift a bit. And when it does you can get to where your trying to go. For me its usually Cambridge. Your destination is way cooler though, its the smiling faces of your family and friends
Dont give up guys, you can do this.
Heather
We’ve been following Darryl’s progress from day 1. Even though it’s heartening that he’s showing small signs of improvement, it must be so frustrating for you all. Considering the length of time you have had this emotional trauma, you are obviously holding up very well. We admire your courage- keep strong.
Hi Darryl
The end of a busy week. At last a bit of time off and a return to normal station life. Ronnie Fenwick and his fencing gang are back this morning chasing wild pigs on the station.They all send their best wishes. Whats a bright young spark like you supporting the Canes for.I thought you would be an udder mother supporter from way back. Come on the Chiefs.
Kathleen and Benny have gone fishing at the harbour entrance to day so i will be expecting a feed of fish for dinner to night.
Some duck shooters have just turned up to go shooting Parries on the Paua flats.There are still plenty of ducks around at the moment so i guess they will fire off a few rounds and take the duck population down a bit.
Everybody sends their regards.Keep taking those steps each day.
Regards Kathleen Max Deane Latimer Lewis and Sandy.
Kia Ora to the Family again,
Thinking and praying for you all especially Darryl himself.
I have been unable to keep up for the past week or so, but will be watching and waiting for the good news every day from here on in.
Keep strong Darryl, keep fighting, we know you can do it.
Keeping you in our prayers.
Waenga Whanau
Te Hapua
Dianne here, Just as I started reading the days updates Darryl I felt my heart sink a little and then I read on to the words of encouragement from previous posters and Harold came in and jumped on my lap and I felt better immediately for some unexplained reason. You know Harold being as spooky as he is always liked you too ‘for some reason’ and as soon as I settled down he jumped off and went back by the fire place. Mike says ‘Just Hurry Up Darryl!’