What a week! Six weeks ago All Black’s coach Graham Henry and two of his team, Tanerau Latimer and Stephen Donald came to visit Darryl at the Rehab. Graham had kept tabs on Darryl’s progress since leaving a note for him when he first hit the critical care ward.
The visit is lost to Darryl and photos and video is all he has to remind him that the event actually occurred. That and the fact that every day since that visit a challenge laid down by Graham has been regaled to Darryl. Graham, impressed by Darryl’s improvement at that point said to him that the ABs were returning to Auckland in six weeks time to play Australia in the first Tri Nations match of the series and if he could “get himself right by then” he could come to the game as a guest of the team.
There is no doubt that this unique invitation has served to motivate Darryl and when Graham rang me a few days ago to check on progress I was delighted to say Darryl was good to go! What followed was an invitation by Graham to attend the AB’s captain’s run on Friday, followed by the game on Saturday. So after a trial run earlier this week in the rehab van fitted out for a wheelchair, Darryl and I, with my brother Len as the driver, headed off to meet the AB squad at Eden park to watch the captain’s run.
We arrived a little early and were waiting at the entrance to the player’s room when the bus pulled up laden with Darryl’s heroes. It was a special moment when the coach and his assistants came out and shook Darryl’s hand, Wayne Smith saying that they knew all about Darryl and were pleased to have him here and what an inspiration he was to the team.
This was quickly followed by Darryl’s previous visitors, Tanerau and Stephen coming over to him, their genuine delight at seeing Darryl’s obvious improvement, providing a reminder of just how far he has come. Darryl was pretty emotional and shed plenty of tears amidst this powerfully uplifting experience. Having sad that, part of the phase Darryl is moving through is difficulty in controlling his emotions, good bad or otherwise, so in this sense his reaction was entirely anticipated.
We were taken out to the ground by Darren Shand the manager and Darryl watched with awe as the team went through its paces. Many of the team came over and spoke with Darryl including his hero Richie McCaw who was brilliant with him and shared with Darryl the degree of inspiration his courage and determination had impacted on the team. More tears from Darryl and a couple of quiet ones from me.
The icing on the cake came when after the haka was performed at the conclusion of the run, Darryl was invited to join in the team photo. With great gusto I wheeled Darryl out onto the field and the ABs began to clear a space for his wheelchair. I said “don’t worry about that, he’ll stand with you”. I popped the chair in the middle and then he stood and Len whisked the chair away and the team closed around us like glove.
Sitiveni Sivivatu swooped under Darryl’s left arm and I held his right and Darryl grew a few inches taller and he stood alongside modern-day icons of the game. It was a poignant moment and one I am told brought a tear to the eye of more than just Darryl.
Just prior to leaving Darren approached Darryl with a souvenir he will treasure for ever. Darren handed Darryl a real All Black team jersey with the reserve number 25 on its back. On the front were the signatures of all the players and coaches. Darren explained that the jersey was a real player’s jersey, not able to be purchased and something only ever given to players - All Blacks! It is fair to say that Darryl was overwhelmed by the gesture and gift, its uniqueness and significance resonating powerfully with him I’m sure.
Darren Shand organised logistics for us for Saturday night before we left, the plan being that we would be seated on the field alongside the AB reserves. And so it was on Saturday evening we trundled along to Eden park with our VIP entry and parking taking care of. We were met by Greg Shipton from the Northland Rugby Union (who has shown steadfast support throughout) who took us through to the ground and we were led over to the reserves bench where we were welcomed by some of the team support staff. We watched the team warm up and as the ground filled, so did Darryl’s anticipation of kick off.
The ground erupted as Richie led the AB’s out and we stood Darryl up for the anthems. My eyes filled with tears of pride as I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see my son singing our national anthem. What a trooper! After the haka and another round of tears of joy from Darryl, we sat and enjoyed Darryl’s first ‘big game’ experience. It was a phenomenal experience for all concerned. Len was grabbing heaps of photos and video, but I am sure that this memory will not fade from Darryl’s mind. In fact, of the first ten weeks on this journey there is unlikely to be much Darryl will have to remember (thankfully in my view) but one of his first real ‘take home’ memories of his new life will be of being around his heroes and sharing in the game with them from as close as a vantage point as anyone is likely to get. It was a fantastic experience for him on so many levels and I am sure he stood taller than ever before as we posed for a photo at the end of what was a successful game.
On the way out we were given the ‘icing on the cake’ treatment as we went by the changing rooms and Stephen Donald, who had a terrific game, came out to share a few words with Darryl on the game and the experience. It was humbling to hear Stephen showing genuine interest and support for Darryl and all he has achieved to date. They stood for many minutes hands clasped together, Darryl staring into Stephen’s eyes taking every word in.
It was with pride Darryl unzipped his AB jacket to show Stephen his own AB jersey he had been wearing for the game. There really aren’t the words to describe the emotions I felt throughout.
Darryl was such a talented and fearless player, it would not be a stretch to suggest that he could have earnt himself his own ‘black jersey’. The tragedy of the situation and circumstances in which he has found himself wearing one is something I find hard to make sense of in my mind, but I know that those two days and that jersey gave my son a lift that nothing else could have achieved. Yes it is full of irony and sadness at a deep and even hurtful level, but who would have thought three months ago, when he was just moments from death, that Darryl would be standing on the sideline with the All Blacks singing the national anthem wearing his very own black jersey. He may not have got it in the conventional way, but by God, that boy has earnt that jersey.
I cannot speak more highly of Graham Henry, Darren Shand and the other management/coaching staff and of course the players, for the way they have embraced Darryl and put some added wind beneath his wings. This was no token gesture, it was one of compassion, support and I’m sure, admiration. Hats off to them all. Fantastic!
You may be wondering how Darryl as been progressing, well as per so many other weeks of late he is making short work of many milestones. To name a few he has now done a ten minute burst on the exercycle, he is now walking without a sling for support, flanked by myself and the physio to help him along and maintain his balance. He is gaining much more use of his right leg which is quickly catching up with his left, as too is the strength slowly starting to return in his right arm.
He now stands pretty much under his own steam and sits unassisted for as long as he needs to. He is able to do most of his own washing and dressing of himself and is moving around a lot more both in his wheel chair and in bed. He is coming back to life and gaining strength each day. Not the least due to the fact that he is eating like a horse!! In all it has been yet another week where he has shot ahead and gone from stength to strength – literally. They say that this does plateau at some point, but I can’t see that point on the horizon yet, that’s for sure.
Darryl’s sense of humour and cheeky persona are coming back to the fore with a couple of really funny moments. The other morning for example Brook, Darryl’s older brother was with us and Darryl calmly turns to him and says “hey Brook, can I have your brain?” At that point we all burst out laughing.
Darryl has also been making a lot of jokes about his memory which is obviously not functioning anything like what it should be. It has become a source of quite a lot of humour. A good example is when Len gave Darryl what he described as ‘pearls of wisdom (which I will share next). Len read out what he had written up for Darryl and framed for him. It was a powerful piece of advice and we were all a bit choked up. I turned to Darryl and said, “there you go Darryl, does that ring true to you?” To which he relied “yes….what I can remember of it.”
I want to share with you what Len wrote, because it really does hit the nail on the head. No pun intended!
“Shit Happens”, by Uncle Len
Shit happens Darryl, it’s what you do about it that counts.
Your attitude is more important than what has happened or what could have been.
It’s more important than circumstances, failures, success or what other people say, think or do.
It’s more important than appearance, skill or recognition, than money, intellect or status.
You can’t change the past and nor should you want to, your attitude has brought you here and your attitude will get you out of here.
The brilliant thing is that every day when you wake up you have a choice regarding the attitude you will embrace for the day.
Shit happens Darryl and there is no doubt that you have had your share, but always remember,
Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you react to it!
Thanks Len, you are a great brother and a true friend. I am so glad to have you alongside me in this mate.
Darryl, Uncle Len is right and you are showing us all just how much can be achieved with that ninety percent. I’m proud to be your Dad and I was proud to be with you alongside the All Blacks. You may not have run out onto that field but your presence there made just as much impact in my eyes.
Kia Kaha mate
Dad
Way to go Uncle Dazzla
Saw a glimpse of you on the side line
Huge effort mate
Your milesotones this week are huge to read
wow really impressive
keep taking huge stides and climbing the mountain asked of you
cant wait to see you again
take care and only up from here aye!!
Love and respect the Tubbs Family
Shit happens!!!
Shit happens!
What a eulogy
Darryl, you have certainly mastered it!!!
Hope to meet you one day
But i am not as famous as the AB,s
Just admire how far you guys have come!!!!
Kia kaha to you both
Bill Thurston
Well, Darryl you really buggared up the mascara this morning!
What a happening, I ll have to find a replay and keep an eye out for you. Good for you to brave that terrible weather. So glad you are “back” with your family. The big bolders are now rocks and will soon be stones and then grains of sand, Good on you. This story is getting a whole lot better I’m tempted to look at the last page.
Love and More good wishes.
Pip
Darryl I have watched your progress throughout this whole tradgedy. Your Dads support and you friends around you are amazing. I was out on Saturday night at a local Hamilton bar when I bumped into one of the girls who was in our class in Taipa a good five years ago for me. when I left Taipa in a emotional whirlwind of a ride i never expected to see anyone of my friends again from there well I think the total is at 5….. yet I am hoping that one day I can add another person to my list to be you number 6. What an amazing experience from the AB’S they were on good form. I cannot imagine what it was like to be there with all those role models around you, yet I will say you have be an inspiration to watch your commitment at pulling through this.
Keep it up Darryl.
Meg
What an emotional episode that was.I am writing this with tears in my eyes.I have kept the article in the Northern Advocate as an inspiration for my grandchildren in years to come.Keep up the good work Mike and Darryl. You are getting closer every day.
Like Elaine, I am sitting here with tears of joy streaming down my face. Darryl, you are an inspiration to me. The attitude that Len speaks of sits strongly within the spirit that is you. Your contenance certainly brings to the fore the old addage ‘pick your battles’ and for the ones you do pick, fight with passion.
Len, thank you for sharing your heart-felt thoughts and feelings. They are ones we all can & should ‘embrace’ each and every day.
Lots of love to you all
Virg xxxx
Yeah Gidday Darryl,
We still in Oz, heading back on Wednesday hoping to visit you on the way back up North. Watched the game here ha ha with fellow kiwis of course. Not much of a mention in the sunday papers over here funny that.
Was thinking of you and wondering if you made it to the game…
Good on you , I’m sure it was a thrill of a lifetime…
A memory for you to treasurse for ever aye my friend. My girl friend we are staying with is so jealous you had a close encounter with Richie Macaw ( she LOVES him)
Can’t wait to see you on Wednesday
take care
Hugs and love
Traceyxxxx
What a great start to my day by reading this. Sabin family, you truely are an inspiration to all of us. Way to go making it to the AB’s game Darryl. What a star. Sending lots of love your way.
Laura
Bro you are a bloody legend
heard u got 1 of our pics frm a gig a few weeks ago, im bloody chuffed u liked it and i can onli hope that u also got th atmosphere that came with it!
Choice stuff gettin to see the AB’s bro, and i cannot think of anyone walking (or wheeling) on this planet that deserves it more then a soldier lyk urself, so hold ur head up bro, keep those boots pointing north and just know that u are a true legend
once you keep that up bro, everything else will fall into place
stil passing on our best thoughts Darryl
Nath, Vince, Tara and the rest of Southland
p/s anytyme at all u feel the need, pop on down here for a beer. we’ll keep a cold one jsut for u
From team clarkie to team sabin
Hey Darryl – did it occur to you that Stephen Donald played so well because of the inspiration he drew from you??!!! Keep climbing the rungs of that ladder.
Much love and congratulations
Raye Clark
Awesome news all round, you made it to the match and they won the game for you! I am sure you have made a lasting impression on those boys!
A tough way to gain a black jersey as you say Mike, and understandably a mix of emotions go with that, nevertheless a great challenge laid down by Graham Henry to get to the game and unsurprisingly Darryl met the challenge – now what’s next?
Look forward to seeing the photos, the one in Saturday’s Advocate was inspirational and even more impressive to know the sling isn’t needed anymore only a couple of All Blacks!
Have a great week.
Kia Kaha
The fantastic news keep coming Darryl.
Thanks to your Dad who does such a good job writing your stories on this blog and working with you.
Mum and Dad too have been real good and have cut out articles from the Northern papers to send to me in Dunedin or read them aloud over the phone.
I also like the All Blacks much more too for the support they have shown you.
Keep being you Darryl
You lucky little shit Darryl Sabin!
I bet you walked back into that hospital with your head held high telling those nurses “yea ive shaken wayne smith and richies hand”
im guessing that hand aint going to be washed for awhile either!
WOW your doing sooo unbeleivably well,
brings tears to my eyes at the thourght of your pure stanama and strength
i reckon that the ABs getting to meet such an awesome young fella,
gave them the omphf to kick aussies arses
they may be legends for you D,but you are defintaly a legend to them!and all of us,
and so you should be,
Lens right,shit does happen
but in my mind if nothing ever went wrong how are we ment to grow or learn from things we do in life,you once said to me darryl “dont worry about it,these things happen and you just gotta look forward”
so D,look forward,because were all here waiting for you
keep eating it up large
keep being your mighty self
love you always
you freind bonXx:)
you are shit lucky man. My friend was there that night, she told me it was good. I am so dam jealous that you shook Richie’s hand and have your own AB jersey.
Well, I just cant wait to see you can out of rehab. I guess that will happend in any time. so hurry up, get up and get out the rehab and we are waiting for you out there.
Wow – That is is something else for all concerned – both the all blacks and for you Darryl. Awesome to read your progress over the last few weeks. Looked for you on saturday – did not see you, but I was pretty thirsty that night…..might of missed it during refreshment breaks. Keep on fighting and putting all your energy into making further progress. You have had some pretty awesome insiprational people willing you on and we know that their energy will be well used by you.
Mike and whanua- You are doing a fantastic job. I dont know what else to say other than well done and make sure that you look after yourselves to.
Take care
Darryl’s story is such a tragedy … and I hope that my knowledge of a possible treatment might help him.I found it through a Google Alert.
It started with a young man in South Africa called Louis Viljoen who was smashed up badly by a truck. He was in deep coma but he recovered consciousness amazingly when he was given a sleep drug called zolpidem (aka Stilnoct or Ambien) and now he talks about his favourite rugby team and stars. Since he first awoke about 400 people with brain injuries have recovered all kinds of brain function when treated by the clinics in South Africa. I just hope that Darryl might try it too as it is perfectly safe in case he too could be a responder. Could I recommend that the family read a book that was written by one of the doctors called Ralf Clauss who treated Louis and actually did the brain scans that showed he had recovered brain function? The book tells the story of several patients who have responded and it can be previewed at http://www.hopeinbraindamage.co.uk I hope and believe that you will find it interesting if not inspiring.
All the best of good luck for Darryl. He deserves some good luck.
Andrew
Good Morning Dazzla.
Wow a big week for you hey. Very proud of you for making it through the whole game, top effort to you!
How was it, how did you feel? Don’t think you’ll ever get a better seat than that at a game.
For them to offer you something like that, they must too see in you what we call all see. An incredibly awesome guy, with more courage, strength and determination than most people. You rock Dazzla.
Well its school holidays at the moment, one week left to go. So the roads, the shops and everything in general is a bit busier. Although saying that, we have had such awesome weather over the weekend and the last few days. Defiantly doesn’t feel like the middle of winter that’s for sure.
Went to a comedy club on the weekend for a friend’s birthday. Laughter defiantly is the best medicine. Was pretty good to do something different.
Also auditioned for a TV programme called Beauty and the Geek on the weekend. Man so full on! So many cameras and camera crew and bright lights in your face, pretty nerve racking and lots of really fake looking girls. Pretty sure I didn’t get in thought. But worth trying hey, and all in the experience.
Dazzla, you are just doing so so well. Incredibly amazing, especially if I think back compared to the first couple of weeks. Amazing Dazzla, just Amazing.
You truly ARE a Dazzla.;)
XxXx Lulu*.
The progress you’ve made is awesome. I’m sure the AB’s played better because you were there, you’re an inspiration to us all.
You have shown us that we can accomplish anything if we want to badly enough. It’s how much effort we spend that co-insides with the results we achieve.
hey D,
how was your day today,hope you had a good 1,
man,you look so belonging in that team
like i said before they may be your legends,
but you are a legend to them
and all of us!
was such a thrill to see those photos of you,
really hit home,when i think of darryl sabin i pitcure a hard working young man trundling away
on the farm,with his dogs
always carrying a smile from ear to ear
and ready at any minute to throw some cheek
at who evers near:
Thats who you are:)
and even though whats happened,you are you
it aint going to change,
and so it shouldnt,you freaking amazing!
love always
your friend bon:)
Wow Darryl, I have followed your story from listening to Jax keeping us “classic hits” fans up to speed with your Dads updates, can’t say there have been many mornings that I have listened without tears. Truely inspirational, and go the AB’s what a team and such a great group of mates to have along side. Keep up the good work, I’ll look forward to reading your progress. Keep well and yeah shit does happen aye but tomorrows another day.
J9
Hi Darryl
So glad you made the game on saturday.All the men were really impressed.
The men have Browns lease up and running again.Power in the fences and the trees pulled away.Dosed the weaner heifers at browns and will watch and see how they respect the fences over the next few days.
We have started to cull the ewe hoggets this week,bringing in a couple of paddocks at a time and drafting them without them getting off the concrete.It might be a bit slower but it sure saves trying to push them through those muddy outer yards.
The ewes are really starting to show,it will only be another couple of weeks before they start to lamb.
Still getting a fair amount of rain up here so i will be glad when its starts to dry out.
Keep taking long strides.
Regards Kathleen,Max,Deane,Lewis,Latimer, and Sandy.
You have restored my faith in The All Blacks !!!!
It is always so inspirational to follow your fantastic progress Darryl.
Not often do you get clarity on what is truly important in life. Usually those times are so full of grief that the pain will smother the experience. I feel very selfish sometimes reading these updates because you give me that gift each and every time. I thank you, it is precious. You are precious.
PS- I don’t think I’m really meant to say “shit” on the radio but hey…..it’s too good an oppourtunity to pass up, I’ll get the boss to give you a ring if he has a problem aye Darryl !!
Wow that is just awesome!
I have read your diary Mike from the beginning. You are amazing and I am in awe of your committment to see Darryl through this.
Darryl, you are amazing yourself, you are fighting the fight and each milestone a win. You have reached so many hundreds and probably thousands of NZr’s who are just in awe of your courage and determination. They, like me, read about you on here in our homes not ever knowing you before but wanting to know about you now.
I don’t come on here out of curiosity, I come here because I care. I feel sad sometimes, I laugh when it’s funny and I cry when, like Saturday, it is just so dammed amazing. It is like being invited into a loving circle of care, compassion, determination and inspiration. If it helps us to walk out that door and share some of that to those around us, that truly is “inspiration”
Congratulations! I started reading this, playing catch up as I am in Italy for 3 weeks and I realised I couldn’t read through the last 2 or 3 entries in an internet cafe, as you have done so bloody well in the time I haven’t been reading. I copy and pasted and took all your milestones back to the apartment to read alone and I am stunned, and then immediately not surprised. ‘It’s Darryl, of course he’s going to be achieving at this level.’
Congratulations on getting to spend time with your heroes, although it seems like you might have become someone they measure themselves by. All the very best to you all over there and I’m so very very happy as I write this to the guy who is breaking all kinds of records with regards to recovering.
All the very best,
Di
Yo Afternoon Dazzla
Hope you are fighting hard and blowing minds on another
sucsessful week!!!
35 Cows left to calve, YAY over the worst of it
and our calves look great and the cows are picking up well
Bring on a bit more sun shine, a farmer could always do with
more grass Hey!!!
We have had the hell earth works going on outside the frontof the house here so awesome, you wont recognise the place. Allen built us a mean footpath/race track around the house for the boys to keep them out of the mud, sooooo good , they are super stoked, even enough area to pass – sweet…
We miss you around the place heaps, can’t wait for you and your
old man to come up for some far north relaxing treatment
take care and keep climbing
You are an achiever so keep achieving
much love and respect
The Tubbs Family
hay darryl!
hope your kicking ass,
im off to the ball tomorrow night,get all dressed up with a big party afterwards at kaipara airfeild!getting very excited!;)
cant wait to have a catch up at some time,i miss our conversations but looking forward to them more than ever!
keep up the superb work
thinking about you always
love always
your mate bonXx:)
Hey Darryl,
Keep it up sounds like your doing well!!
All the best !!
Millie
Evening Dazzla
Only 27 cows to go
Yeehi, got to love that
means we will be coming to see you pretty soon Bro
and we can stay the night and have two days with you
So mean,
We have had two days of sunshine TWO – can you believe it!!!
My face even got sun burnt
hope you have been able to feel the sun
Miss you Dazzla and think about you everyday
Take care
Tubbs Family
Boys say hi!!