For those who have children you will remember the feelings you experienced when for the first time your child stood on their own two feet. You will remember the sense of pride at the achievement of this milestone equally shared with anxiety as you watch on at arms length as they sway tentatively trying to find their balance for the first time.
This is the same experience I had this Friday gone as Darryl stood for the first time on his own. Except this time it seems like the feeling of pride and anxiety are amplified by the number of years that have passed since Darryl first achieved this feat. But in his first go Darryl stood there, swaying like a rusty gate in a the breeze for 24 seconds. It is the first major step forward in getting him to move forward under his own steam.
Having said that, by Sunday Darryl had managed to turn 24 seconds into more than 3 1/2 minutes. Let’s just say we have been doing our homework over the weekend and aim to achieve the five minute goal the physio has set for Darryl. I guess the appropriate analogy to use (ironically) is that it’s just like riding a bike, you never really forget you just need to get that sense of balance again. The difference being we can’t afford to have Darryl fall over so the stakes are far higher. But he is on his way to getting mobile on his own, something I continue to reinforce to Darryl is not only achievable but is just around the corner.
The week has seen Darryl continue to improve on a number of levels, the most humourous of which is his sense of humour returning in bucket loads. He has got what I call ‘goldfish fever’ in that he often forgets little details in the day and will repeatedly ask the same questions and then crack a funny about the response. Just like the humble gold fish that they say has a very short memory (how they know that I don’t know) and swims around the tank saying to itself repeatedly “oh wow, I haven’t noticed that before”, Darryl repeats his questions and quips in response, followed by roars of laughter. I oblige by looking and acting equally entertained by his wise crack and the process begins again. Eventually he remembers that he’s covered the teritory before and that becomes the source of even more laughter as the ‘gold fish fever’ reality dawns.
He has also found his singing voice, with verses of his favourite Flight of the Concords album bursting forth at the most random of moments. something that is just so Darryl! So needless to say we can often be heard over breakfast singing away together, poorly, out of tune and mumbling the bits we don’t know the words for, with the odd mouthful of Sultana Bran firing forth like a gatling gun as he burst into laughter mid-mouthful. Priceless!
It is great to hear him using his voice more and more. He has a long way to go with this and it does involve relearning the talking process and how to form the words but he is making great progress and I’m confident normality will return.
Darryl is now able to sit up straight and true, lay himself down and get himself back up into a sitting position. He is doing step ups, putting weight on his right leg, which has been slower to return to life than his left. He is also now far more able to lift himself from a sitting position up into standing which will no doubt come over the next week or so.
His right arm which really bore the brunt of the storming and was held constricted against his chest for the best part of six weeks, is now starting to spark into life. I am really working this hard with Darryl because I know it really troubles him that it lays there limp when he is sinking every ounce of his energy into it to get it to flinch. Over the last two weeks I have rubbed, slapped, pinched, massaged and flicked his shoulder, biceps, triceps forearms and fingers, all of which are now working – slowly but surely For the first time since day three of this journey he was able to do a thumbs up with his right hand! It was another tear-jerker moment and something I hope gave Darryl a sense of certainty that he will get his right arm back.
Just in the last three days the active movement coming back in his hand and arm is impressive. sure it is measured in centremetres in the beginning, but there is something to measure, that is the main thing. If this process has taught me anything it is that if you don’t use it you lose it, and once you start to get it moving the outcome is only limited by the effort you’re prepared to put in.
On that note I should share one of Darryl’s funnies of the week. I have been working his good left arm and his weaker right arm together by either having him interlink his fingers and push out his hands to my hand which I move around as a target or by using a piece of Lancewood that Darryl carved me as a Christmas present a a couple of years ago. This can be used like a barbell for bench press, shoulder press, bicep and tricep excercises. The thinking is that even if the left arm is carrying the majority of the load the neurons in the weaker arm will get the message to fire and start working .
In any event it is hard yacker, particularly with me pushing him along from the sidelines. On Saturday I went to his room to get the Lancewood stick and when I returned he said “oh no the stick of torture” to which we both burst out laughing. Having said that I was laughing as I was locking his hands onto it!
Darryl works really hard and while it can be and is exhausting for him he knows that with each exercise, with each well formed word and with every milestone ticked off, he is closer to being home. He is now evermore aware of his injury and the circumstances in which this life changing event come to pass. Having said this, the other morning Darryl came up with an interesting revalation in that he said “Dad, this didn’t happen to me playing rugby, I just went to sleep one day and when I woke up I was here!!” Followed by “Have I been asleep since 2008?” That took a bit of explaining starting with the fact that he wasn’t actually Snow White despite the fact that I could be mistaken for a number of the seven dwarfs! It’s all part of the process as his brain restores the scrambled information, but nonetheless it must feel like he walking through a bit of a maze.
The weekend was a good one, a highlight for Catherine and I when our good friends from up home in the Far North, Sandra and Dion (the people who gave Darryl the greenstone dog whistle) came to visit. The last time they came down was several weeks ago and Darryl was smack bang in the middle of a urinary tract infection, he was very out of sorts, I was very stressed and tired and we all ended up in tears.
On this occasion Darryl was happy, joking, standing, talking and worlds apart from the state he was in when they had last seen him. I really enjoyed sitting back and knowing that they could see how far he had come and all of us, including Darryl just ‘chewing the fat’. I felt good about that, it was fuel for my soul and gave me a feeling that my life is coming back too. Those moments are like diamonds in the rough and just reward for the hard yards we have all put in, both family and friends. Thank guys, you give me strength.
Darryl made another comment to me a couple of days ago that shows his awareness of this situation is finding gravity. He told me that he owes it to me to get better. I took some time to explain to him that he doesn’t at all. It went, something like this:
Darryl it is not me you owe it to, it isn’t your friends, your supporters, the staff here or any of us in your family. You owe it to no-one other than yourself, and not because you got it wrong and need to put it right, not because you’ve had some bad luck and you need to square the ledger. You owe it to you because only through real loss can real gain be found.
Think of it like this Darryl; when a mighty forest burns to the ground, it does so with great fury and creates a storm of fear as it destroys all that was previously great, but it is not until the burnt ashes of what once was great, lay dormant on the ground that the seeds of change can sprout. And those seeds become the forest of tomorrow feeding off the burnt remnants of yesterday, far stronger, with more potential and with their horizons free from obstruction.
Without that fire and that loss there can be no forest of tomorrow. Darryl you owe no-one other than yourself to be that forest, otherwise the fire you were willing to endure has been for nothing and all that remains is charred barren earth. So think not of the reasons for the fire but for the potential of the new forest. You will stand tall, as do the Kauris that tickle the clouds back home in Northland. You already do in my eyes.
Keep it up Darryl.
Dad.
Holy Crap
What a huge week guys
Dazzla standing on your own was always going to be a big
step well done for putting in all the hard work,
you will always gain a reward for hard work, always
To me your mountain is more like a steep hill
you have the majors back now it is just a matter of hard core
exersising them to get them where you want!!!
Wow we are so stoked for you D
I always get a lift from reading your progress, just think
about how far you have come, enjoy every new process you re-learn
We know you will have another great week and cant wait to hear about it
Take care
Tubbs Family
The forest is alive again!!
The mighty Tane has returned, standing tall and proud!!!
Kia kaha Darryl!!
Kia kaha Mike!!!!
Regards Bill Thurston
Hey Darryl’
WAY TO GO my friend keep on keeping on!!!!!
Was really neat to see you again last week. I think Terry and Robbie were stuck for words( go figure). But we talked about you all the way home, mainly personal memories of you we all have.
You are real special to us and we all can’t wait til you can come and stay for a weekend with us one day soon aye.
We did’nt end up going to Taupo as the goose-neck needed a bit more work on the brakes so going later this week. Not that I minded one bit. It is nice to be home even though its freezing after Brisbane.
We had a lovely weekend with the weather went out to John & Danicas new lease block and went fishing. Did’nt catch much but was a lovely day out and a really nice farm on the coast.
Also had an email from Isiasis (our Brazilian cowboy) he wants to come back to NZ and it could’nt be a better time as we have a few horses that need starting. So good news we just got to sort all that Immigration c…..p again.
Well I better get dressed ,the neighbour has been over and said we can have some grazing for a couple of the horses. So must get a move on as there is a definate shortage of grass round here.
Will talk soon bud . we love ya heaps
Hugs and love
Traceyxxxx
What an amazing week!
your doing so unbeleivalbly well D,
yourl be outer there in no time
like your dad said:you gotta do this for yourself D,your deserve another crack and this time yourl be 100% stronger mentally
stand tall darryl the light at the end of the tunnel is all yours and were all waiting for you there
hopefully i can come see you at some time,
mabey when mum gets back
stand tall and proud D
you now withhold knowledge that the rest of us cant even dream of!
love you always
you freind always
bonXx:)
Hey Darryl,
Welcome to the cloudy world of amnesia!!! It will give you a lot of laughs int he years to come and pleased to hear that it is giving you some laughs now too!!
Keep up the awesome work on your body, am sure there are a few more tasks to be completed before they let you out of there so roll on and keep moving. You have nailed the biggies, now its time to get strong and stay there, sounds like you’re going to need some long hill walks to get there. Think of the hills at home and Jimmy who is keem as to see you I am sure. Have they got a pool there and are you allowed in it?? Have a fantastic week and laugh lots.
Regards Jane
Morning Uncle Dazzla
How are you going mate?
Pip had five puppies, so bloody cute!!
Allen put Jack over her and they have come out perfect
we are very happy with them,
the boys are taken away by them and ask question daily
so just on the internet doing some research on when they first
open their eyes, ears ect
pretty cool
Not too long until your birthday got some cool tricks
up my sleeves for that
Keep singing the Flight of the Conchords together
thats really cool, I like that
and D think of the carved lancewood as your future bro
go hard so you can get out
Take care Dazzla
love you heaps and miss you everyday
Allen and myself talk about coming down and hanging out with you all the time
hopefully see you soon
Tubbs Family
Good Morning Dazzla.
Every time I hear news about how you’re doing, it’s always positive and you’re always THAT much closer to being back to the old you.
I went swimming in the gym pool the other day after a run, and couldn’t help but notice how good it felt on tired muscles, how light I felt and how easily I could move my arms and legs around. About a tenth of the effort and pressure than if I were outside the pool.
That of course got me thinking about you, the troubles you have been having with your arm and leg, and wondering if you could go in a pool to do some exercises and see if helped or made the movement a bit easier. And for walking, the water would almost be like a protective layer around you (like invisible hands surrounding you, that will be there to help you if you need them.) Giving you that little bit of help to stand and walk, and also a soft place to land if you did fall. Like a safe environment to take risks and really push yourself and try new things.
And besides all of that, going swimming always seems to lift your spirits, it’s good for the soul. Who know, maybe you can even practice and see if you can hold you breath under water?
Not too much happening here by me. Although I did have a funny experience with doing the washing on the weekend. I dropped something behind the washing machine and because it was too heavy to move I had to go up and over the top of it and squeeze my head and shoulders in behind to try and reach it. Probably not a very good idea cus I did something really wrong to my neck. I got such a sharp pain in my neck to a point where I couldn’t bare the pain anymore, and I guess my brain thought the same thing so decided to shut down, I could feel myself going as my vision got smaller and smaller. Need less to say that when my brain decided to wake up again and I gained my sight back I felt so bilious and just wanted to get sick. Ha ha I’m laughing now but it wasn’t that funny then.
I guess I almost felt a few minutes of what you had to feel for weeks, and it wasn’t nice! I’m not at all trying to compare the two, just acknowledging how Shit it must have been for you. And you coped and dealt with it like a legend. Good on you Dazzla.
Keep working hard, not too long now.
XxXx Lulu*.
you are an inspiration.
Jeremiah 29:11-13.
“….. For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart…..”
Well done guys. Keep up the good work.
Sue.
hey darryl!
how you doing?
havent been up to much,had the ball on sat night which was really cool,got all dressed up,literally,which was a huge change from the usual shortshorts and bush shirt!so many people were like ‘holy shit bonnies wearing a dress’!which was mean,then at midnight we got changed and went to the after ball which went till 5ish in the morning,was a bit nakerd the next day but a freaking epic party!
lots of funny stories to tell from that night,;)
mums doing really good enjoying working at the new place,and only 1month till shes back,yipee!
figers crossed by then ill be able to see you
miss you sooo much,i find myself waiting for your txts some nights and have to remind myself that theyl come soon!
well lot of love to you
hope you kicking ass
love your freind always
bonXx:)
Yo the Dazzla
Good day all round, when the sun shines it just feels easier
ya know, caught up with Lulu* on the phone was cool
Must have been something pretty darn important that she dropped behind the washing machine – bloody classic story, bet you cracked up with that one
And auntie Bones in a dress wicked, gotta see those pics
Lulu* might get a laptop – and I will most certainly loose my top blog writer position – bugger!! will have to compensate with
more visits HEY Dazzla, man I am sure you could do with heaps of those
Allen pulled a calf out tonight after under 7’s training both cow
and calf are sweet lucky he went back and checked
Jake scored a try and nobody could get him in the Bulls Rush game
I had a kindy meeting rushed home to make tea before the hungry boys got back – I made it just in time even got the fire going and washing on… Then the Genger vomited in his cot through all his blankets and sheets and pillow cases and over his beloved Bear so they are just in the dryer and he is back to where he started, hope he is not sick through the night he had diareah all through the night last night and mostly I hope this doesn’t spread through the whole family – Certainly takes the F out of fun parenting
Well Little Bro keep your chin up and keep riding hard
Think of you all the time
Tubbs Family
Hi Darryl
It has been a big week,started with drenching and inoculating the ewes ready for lambing.Mickey, Elroy, Danny, and Wasa, came and gave us hand.It certainly got the job over and finished in a couple of days.Thursday we started to Copper, and drench the cows ready for calving.The general hands are giving us a hand,i think they are grateful to get away from all the repair fencing they have been doing.
Keep taking long strides.
Regards Kathleen,Max,Deane,Lewis,Latimer,and Sandy.
Hey Dazzla
Hope you are cruizing ahead fast
and hope you are feeling good!!!
Yay another sunny day, hope its gonna last
Finnished off the pathway around the house and it is mean as
boys love it…
Its so rewarding having your own place to work on,
with help from your mates thats even cooler
Well my mate
Take care and keep climbing we are all waiting for “the” DAY
Love and respect
Tubbs Family
So great to hear Darryl’s progress is keeping everyone on their toes and with such humour.
Keep up the great work all of you, you are such an inspiration.
Kia Kaha
Darryl, fantastic to hear your doing well mate. I promise you you’ll get there with your determination, gotta be positive mate, i was. Just look after your fatigue levels and you’ll be fine. I know its terrible looking at pictures of you and others that you dont remember! Just listen to your O/T and family, they see things you wont! take care mate and your very lucky to have such a wonderful family and friends, with their support and help you’ll get there!
good morning D
hope your weekend goes great!
will be thinking of you lots like always!
love always
your mate
bonXx:)