Four months since my lad found himself in a battle for his life – D Day.
The memories of that day remain as fresh in my mind now as the day they were carved into my consciousness back then. There is no escaping the scars which remain for all of us, but there is a natural healer that day by day, piece by piece makes the scars easier to bear and fades them through the forgiveness of time. Today provided a large lump of that healing.
Having spent the week walking with the aid of the ’stick of misery’ (length of Lancewood Darryl carved for me as a Christmas gift 2 years ago) I decided it was time for Darryl to take the next step – literally. This morning after breakfast I said to Darryl we needed to go back to his bedroom so he could lay on the bed to do some arm exercises, but when he reached for the ’stick of misery’, I suggested (which is Dad speak for told) to him we ’fly solo’ and leave the stick behind.
He didn’t flinch and when he stood I got in behind him and looped my fingers through the belt on his waist (Since he’s been walking I have had a belt with straps for handles around his waist to ensure he doesn’t fall if he loses his balance). I stood behind him as one slow step after another he made his way about 20 metres through the house to the bedroom. What a triumph! This was the first time he had really walked, more than a few steps, on his own. A big ‘man hug’ of joy, relief and exhilaration sealed the achievement.
After his exercises he then walked, by himself, about the same distance out of the house to the car so we could go down the road and get the paper. And on our return he walked again about another 20 metres inside to the couch where he promptly flopped down for a bit of Sunday TV. What a fantastic milestone and as I mentioned before a healer that makes the scars of the past fade a little more.
So the wheel chair I am proud to say has sat unused for two weeks, something I take great pride in and while Darryl I am sure would be glad of the relief of being wheeled about every now and then, I know he is also proud and relieved of the achievements. Slowly but surely all the equipment and implements he has needed have been shed and cast aside. It’s very satisfying to slowly edge back to independence.
The other major work going on has been with his right arm. While his surgeon, Mr. Law had made so many positive comments about Darryl’s progress I knew it was important to prove to Darryl that hard work, a young brain and a never-say-die attitude are a combination to defy all odds. We were doing a lot of work with his arm, which little by little has been gaining in active movement and reducing in tone (muscle tightness and stiffness), but this week we have at least doubled that. And I’m sure for it’s for this reason we have seen such great improvement in his right arm this week.
He can now hold his arm up in the air above his face for over a minute and a half, while lying on his back. This requires his shoulder to be ’switching on’, something a week ago he couldn’t do at all. He can pick objects up and move them around on his stomach and in most ranges of movement there is increased strength and range of motion. I have also been using the ’stick of misery’ a lot more so that he can do bilateral exercises (using both arms at the same time), doing such things as bench press, shoulder press, bicep curls, tricep pull down and so on. All of these are improving.
I am no brain surgeon (that’s for sure) but I do have a strong sense of belief that ‘if you don’t use it you lose it’ and the more you can use it the more the brain gets the messages that it is needed. Well my mission is to ensure that Darryl’s brain is left in no doubt that his right arm is a bloody good piece of equipment! The key is to get the shoulder working and build up its strength and even within a week of hard work, well harder than was already being done, he is getting stronger.
The whole week I have reinforced to Darryl the progress he’s made, but more so I have not given him time to stop and dwell on what he hasn’t yet achieved. He has been working extremely hard. We are now on a time line to get home. Six weeks. And with a timeline comes deadlines for goals and impetus to achieve them. I think this is really important because I want to ensure that every gain and benefit can be obtained prior to leaving the rehab to go back home. I am not sure where the timeline has come from other than my own gut feeling that at that point he will be in a position to be sufficiently independent to benefit more from a home environment and the gym across the road from us, than from the rehab environment, which in many ways he is quickly outgrowing.
The other good news this week has been that Darryl’s surgery date for his cranioplasty (repairing the large piece of skull that was removed on D-Day) has been set; the 23rd of September. It is a great relief to have this date set as Darryl has been more and more troubled by the fact that half of the right side of his skull is still sitting in a fridge at Auckland Hospital. Having said that, it is an acrylic prosthetic that will be screwed in place rather than his own bone, primarily because it is less likely to cause healing problems or infection. But having a date to work to – Humpty Dumpty day we call it, is another target to aim at.
So a good week has passed and another awaits. That light at the end of this particular tunnel is ever brighter and the wounds of D-Day heal with each passing day.
Darryl, you have come so far in the past four months. Four months that has redefined your life and the lives of so many of us close to you. I am still not sure what it is that life has planned for you, why it is that this test of all tests has been yours to rise to. I just know that there is a life for you to live which will ultimately be richer and more fulfilling for this journey.
Darryl as I type this my eyes fill with tears. Tears that bear testimony to the struggles, trials and pain you have endured to be where you are now. And while others will admire you and marvel at your character and the determination you have shown, I will always have the gift of being by your side through this time, as you have made the long way home.
My soul is richer for you Darryl.
Love you.
Dad.
We moved house this weekend and I can’t tell you how lovely it is to sit down and read of all the progress tonight. You two are one hell of a team!
I guess spring symbolises new growth and I can’t wait to see what Darryl does with spring and summer this year. I’ve been reading kiwi friends words about spring finally appearing over there, feeling panicked about heading back into another cold grey Belgian winter but I think it’s just what you need – it’s the perfect time of year for you both to keep on powering through your milestones.
Good luck in the days and weeks ahead.
Di
Hi Guys
So great to hear of this week’s progress, it must have been a big moment to leave the “stick of misery” behind knowing the wheelchair is gathering dust in the corner.
It must be such a relief to have a date for the cranioplasty, another step towards home.
Keep ticking off those milestones and have a great week.
Kia Kaha
Hey Darryl
SORRY it has been so long. I have fully intended to be down to visit so I have not written on purpose of having something to chat to you about.
But alas other things have cropped up along the way. I am at home holding the fort for the next two or three weeks.
Terry ,Mc Garry and Bolty have gone down to the East Cape on a couple of mustering jobs. All of them were excited about the adventure no doubt they will be having. (yay for me and K.J. left at home to keep things ticking over up north)
I am enjoying not having to cook dinner everynight and only having four dogs at home. But will admit I am missing Terry a bit. We finally weaned the foals (not before time ha) as the next two are due any day now.
Robbie came home for the weekend was real nice to be just us together for a few days. I am sending Rob to a Bull riding Clinic down at Shane Birds at the end of November when his exams have finished. He is pretty keen to ride this season, so I think the clinic will do him the world of good.
Terry told me he IS picking up again this season ( IM Sure he had retired ha) so nearly time to get Tyson in and on the get fit regime (silly old fools him and Tyson)
Sounds like you are doing pretty good aye my friend…
Will stay in touch for the next couple of weeks Darryl as I wont be able to come down til Terry comes home. But I am thinking about you alll the time k.
Love and BIG hugs
Traceyxxxxxxx
Good on you Darryl – you are working so hard and we are so proud of you and the great progress you are making.
Tai is hoping to meet Richie McCaw this weekend at the All Black Road Show at Kensington Park and wants to tell him to play hard for you in the tests. I tell him that every day is equal to an All Black test for you – and you are scoring lots and lots of points. He says you’re “the man”.
Stay strong and focussed.
Hi team Sabin.
What wonderful milestones you are taking. What wonderful dedication to your tasks.
Diamonds are formed under pressure and I’m sure you will both find so many things you’ve learned along the way, coming up in your continued walks of life.
As I’ve said before: “We are fearfully and wonderfully made”!!
Blessings.
Sue.
MikeI stumbled upon your blog a few months ago after watching you in a TV doco and wanting to find out more about what you do.
Since then I’ve loved catching up by reading how things are going for you all. Thank you for sharing so openly and so inspirationally the story of your remarkable son and his devoted dad.
Warmest
Hi Darryl
It’s great to read how much progress you are making. I read something in a book the other day and it brought you to mind. ‘Don’t keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel – march up there and light the bloody thing yourself’. I think that’s just what you are doing. Good Luck!
Well done Darryl. Really impressive steps again that you are making, as there are every week.
Good game to watch last night between the Aussies and South africans – there should of been at least another 14 points on the board for aussies – too mnay handleing errors. Lets just hope the All blacks can emulate the aussie performance.
It is an absolute cracker of a day up here – think I will take my three kids out for a fish and play along Karikari penisular there somewhere before the drive back to Whangarei.
Keep on fighting Darryl.
Walsh Clan.
All out thoughts as usual.
Love Steph and Lance
Hi everyone
Wow what awesome progress guys. Great to read of all the positive happenings. Keep up the good work – and as I said before Darryl you are a legend the way you have fought back. I bet you are all looking forward to coming home. Bella has been really happy since you were all here a few weeks ago – I think she has really been missing you all!! There weather has been great and you will just love sitting on your deck again like I did yesterday was just awesome. Its been so good that I thought I better water your vegies last night Catherine.
Take care,lots of love to you all
Glenys x
Hi Darryl just a quickie tosay hello and very interesting to see how you are progressing enjoy the test match and have a great birthday.Jimmy is well and I guess you will belooking forward to having him back remember your promise to be at Taipa for our trials ,who knows you may even be able to run him at the Tux Kaitaia 13 dec at the kaitaia showgrounds.Would be a good restarting place for you .Leo was pleased to see you and updated us on your progress Have a great weekend and may the blacks come out on top
Regards
Merv+Gail