Monday 7th – Sunday 13th September

For the third time in as many months Darryl reached new levels of achievement due at least in part to the All Blacks, their coaches and manager.  In many ways, Graham Henry has been on Darryl’s wing since he left that note for him in critical care on day one.  He visited Darryl within a week of arriving at the rehab in early June, offering Darryl the opportunity to attend the first Tri Nation’s game some six weeks after that.

At that point, Darryl was unable to open his eyes and could move nothing – nothing, but his left thumb and some quite spastic movements with his left arm.  His right arm was constricted up to his chest so tightly we had to wedge a towel between his forearm and bicep to try and force them apart just a few inches.  His legs were stiff and completely immobile and his face was unable to make any expressions at all, his head unable to be supported by his neck, needing to be propped up with pillows.  He was also unable to speak and can remember nothing of the visit and promise by Graham aside from the photos we took and the constant reminders I gave him of the occasion.

Despite what many would have thought was unachievable, four weeks later Darryl was ‘good to go’ and we attended the first match, albeit in a wheelchair.  The next invite was to the team training camp in West Auckland about a month later, and we aimed for him to be walking by then – he was.  Just two days before we met the All Blacks at their training camp he took his first two steps with support,  we needed the wheelchair but he was able to stand and watch the AB’s and took a couple of tentative steps.

Following  this came the invite to attend the captain’s run and game against South Africa at Hamilton this weekend, just gone.  The challenge and goal we set this time was to be  walking – on his own.  Sure enough, the continued hard work and incentive of the ‘All Black’ variety paid off and we arrived at the captain’s run on Friday, Darryl’s birthday, and walked from the carpark, down the players tunnel and out onto the pitch.  The only support Darryl has now is me walking behind him with my fingers holding some loops on a belt strapped around his waist, which I use to catch him if he starts to topple over.  Other than that he is going solo.

Darryl was met by Darren Shand, the manager and later by Graham, Wayne Smith and Steve Hansen, along with a range of the players who have been so supportive toward Darryl.  Darryl grew a few more inches throughout this experience as well, as the sincerity of their admiration at his marked progress and continued determination was reflected in their comments and obvious delight at what they were seeing.

The following night we were privileged to join the AB reserves and support crew in the dugout on the sideline of the test.  It was something special to walk down that tunnel out onto the pitch and then following the game, walk back up the tunnel past the changing rooms amongst the clutter of media and cameras, to the cheers of the fans hanging over the tunnel walls calling out “good on ya mate, well done, keep it up”.    At first I wondered why they were saying this to the players, until I realised there were no players around us – they were calling to Darryl, someone I am sure they wouldn’t have known about (particularly when most of them were obviously South Africans)  but seeing his obvious struggle to walk and the focus he was showing just to get one foot in front of the other, they offered their calls of support.  I whispered in Darryl’s ear, “mate they are yelling to you, soak it up buddy, you deserve it as much as the players who are running off this field”.

There were so many many memorable moments flowing from that couple of days with the AB’s .  There is so much tragic irony about this and I know at times Darryl’s heart aches at being so close to something that he will now never be able to achieve, but he handles this with such courage and maturity.  He soaks up the experiences with equal shares of awe and inspiration.  I know that being so close to his heroes and the game he loved enough to risk his life for is something magical and has provided an opportunity to springboard him forward with his rehab.  I have given up trying to reconcile the obvious ironies.  The simple fact is that the game may have lost Darryl as a player, but it will never lose him as a supporter.

It was of course a sad ending to the game with the narrow loss to South Africa and when I also looked to the ground, obviously dejected, he turned to me and said, “Oh well Dad, I guess that’s why they are the world champions at the moment”, which I thought was a pretty damn good summation of the situation.  Despite the hard work of the AB’s and coaching team, the Springboks are ‘on top of their game’ at the moment and the results show that.  The AB’s are trying to find theirs, and Darryl and I both agree that when they do, the results will come through as well.  Just like Darryl, patience, hard work and plenty of heart will bring the results.

As a measure of just how sincere the All Blacks have been, all three coaches made a point of coming up to Darryl prior to the game and telling him how glad they were that he was there and what an insipartion he is.  But even more so, after the game Darryl and I made our way out into the carpark and were just about to leave when Darren Shand, the manager came out (from a dressing room that was far more in need of attention than us) simply to thank Darryl for coming along and remind him of how much he has become an inspiration to the team.  You just can’t ask for more than that can you?  There are a great ‘team’ in my eyes and I know Darryl would walk over hot coals for any one of them.

The other major happening of the week was Darryl’s 19th birthday on the 11th of September.  A birthday we were told he wouldn’t have.   It was a terrific day, not just because we spent much of it at the captain’s run,  but we also went out for dinner to a good old ’steak’ joint and Darryl ordered his own meal, steak and mushrooms and for the first time he had a glass of beer.  The deal was, I promised Darryl I would shout him a beer as soon as he could lift it to his mouth with his right hand.  The night before, Darryl had eaten a small cake from his right hand (the first thing he has managed to eat from this hand on his own) so I figured it was worth a crack.  Sure enough, we toasted to him, his birthday and his life and I placed a small glass of beer in his right hand and centimetre by centimetre he raised it to his mouth and managed to get a small sip!!!  I let him drink the rest with his left.  I’m not as cruel as I may appear at times!

Darryl enjoyed a good meal and some polite conversation with the waitress, before we returned to the motel room and he was treated to a bubble bath in a huge spa bath in our room.  Bliss!!  I think this was what they invented the saying ‘happy as a pig in mud’ for.  In all, it was a great day and if his snoring was anything to go by it was a fulfilling one also.

All the hard work we have been doing on his right arm is definitely starting to pay off though, as by the end of today, just two days after he was able to lift his first piece of food to his face, Darryl ate his entire meal, complete with dessert, with his right hand.  I loaded up his fork and he raised each one up to his mouth, he also raised his toothbrush to his mouth and tried his best to brush, he ate chips with it, drank a drink from a straw it  and managed to wrap it around Brenna  and give her a real hug when she went off to bed tonight.  It may sound like something and nothing, but this is huge in the scheme of things.  This signifies a return to purposeful, functional movement to his right arm, which will serve to enhance the ‘normal’ nerve pathways that we have been fighting to regain.

There have many other gains this week, his walking is improving almost with every step and his right leg is gaining strength and thus control over his gait is quickly returning. (Well, quickly in terms of the rehab world).  He did a great 15 minute burst on the exercycle with some sprint sesssions exceeding 90 rpm with resistance.  He did a 20 minute session on the treadmill and strode up the stairs repeatedly on a few occasions.   A good week of gains?  Nothing he hasn’t earned and damn right it is.

Darryl, you have become an inspiration to strangers, to friends, to family and even to your heroes.  You have clawed back inch by inch the life that was ripped away from you a few long months ago and soon we will return home to keep building on the foundations of the new life you have forged out of the ashes of devastation.

It is right that you are admired by so many.  You have earned  each and every accolade.  But the truth is, no-one will admire you more than I.  Each day I watch the pain you endure, the anxiety you experience and character sapping  effort you give, as you shift that mountain fate placed in your way.  Those strangers at the rugby who shouted encouragement for you as you struggled back up the tunnel were right on the money Darryl.  In my view, you are deserving of a stadium full of cheers, just as much as the heroes in black you come to support.

We are all richer for you in our lives Darryl, but I am a multi-millionaire.

Not long now mate, home is just around the corner.

Love always,

Your biggest fan.