Monday 15th June

Published on 15 June 2009 in Progress. 12 Comments

Darryl saw the world from a view point he hasn’t had for over seven weeks – standing on his own feet.  Today at physio, based on his good progress late last week and over the weekend, Darryl was placed in a standing harness and hoisted up into a standing position.  From there he stood, supported from the waist and legs but in the main, supporting his own position and stance.

He seemed to stand a little taller than I remember, possibly an indication that he has grown an inch or two, metaphorically more so than literally, but nonetheless I was a proud Dad to see him upright and ’standing tall’.  It was great to see also as it indicates he has good strength through his core and trunk region, which is essential in getting moving. 

Also during physio some work was done with his sitting and he made real advances in getting his shoulderblades back, putting his chest out and lifting his head so it wasn’t falling forward onto his chest.  He seemed to master that quite well and for the rest of the day he was lifting his own head back with relative ease.  So in all this was another big step forward in terms of physio.

It could be that he was prepared for a big day given how his morning started.  He was off first thing for a bath (which is more of a lying down shower in a rectangle paddling pool), but very enjoyable for him all the same, not the least because he has two caregivers tending to his every whim.  From the bath he was returned to bed where he had his toenails clipped.  He then had a foot massage, while I was giving him a shoulder, neck and facial massage.  No wonder he drifted off into a blissful sleep – who wouldn’t having had a day spa experience like that!?

He was seen by the speech therapist after his pampering and was able to brush his teeth with real dexterity and showed some positive signs that his potential to start speaking was not too far from surfacing.  This of course will make a significant difference in understanding his wants and needs, given most of communication at the moment is either my instinct, a few finger signals or process of elimination.

This afternoon Darryl woke to see his sister wearing her new school uniform after her first day at school.  She hopped up on the bed with him and he promptly wrapped his arm around her and gave her a big cuddle and as she lay there he began to play with her hair as he has done so many times before.  Brenna began to giggle with reassured delight at such a familiar feeling of sibling bonding.  She looked up adoringly at Darryl and said “Darryl, you’re the best brother in the whole world”.  A special moment, followed closely by a moment of hilarity when she said “am I the best sister in the world too?”   He didn’t answer, but I’d stake the house on what he was thinking.

United we stand, divided we fall…..  Darryl, you are healing us all as you heal yourself.

Love you mate.

Dad

Sunday 14th June

Published on 14 June 2009 in Progress. 4 Comments

And on the 7th day he rested….

Not much to report today other than he is resting far better now that we have his pain and discomfort issues more under control.  I did a whole range of exercises with him this morning, with a small dumbell, cones and his dog whistle.  He did he leg raises and I managed to get him to lift his backside and the left side of his back off the bed, by levering off his left elbow while his left leg was bent up at the knee.  He is certainly getting more mobile as bits of his body slowly start to wake up.

His eye opening is getting better each day, much to the delight of the caregivers at the facility who giggle pleasingly when he opens his eyes for them.  All the staff there do an amazing job and we are very glad of it.  They are all unsung heroes in my eyes and I know Darryl appreciates the devotion they show to his care.

So another new week awaits, each one has had a little more promise than the last.  Interesting how hope and possiblity, my staple diet for the first four weeks, is slowly giving way to expectation and promise.  It is a tentative merger of emotions, but it is not a product of thoughts, it is a result of actions and achievements.

Darryl, the mountain is getting a little smaller and your ability to keep moving it is growing a little each day.  Remember though it is a marathon, not a sprint and for each day of groundwork you put in now, you will no doubt ensure there is more in the tank for later when the really hards yards begin.  It is fair to say in this and so many other walks of life, it is not so much what you do that will define you, it is the way you go about it.

Focus always on the right way to about  it Darryl, the rest will take care of itself.

Dad

Saturday 13th June

Published on 13 June 2009 in Progress. 13 Comments

Seven weeks.

Having got on top of some of Darryl’s pain and discomfort issues Darryl had a far more restful day today.  It lowers the stress levels significantly!  You can almost see the healing going on when Darryl lays there with his new-found snore gently rumbling away.  

I did quite a few short sessions of physio and basic activities with Darryl today as there is no physio on the weekends.  He performed really well and when I asked him how many leg raises he wanted to do with his left leg he put five fingers up.  So five leg raises he did, each time getting his entire leg off the bed.  Then I noticed Darryl was lifting his head and shoulders off the bed.  I asked him if he was in pain because he looked as if he was cramping in the stomach.  When I asked however he said he wasn’t.  To my delight I soon discovered  that Darryl wasn’t cramping, he was actually trying to sit up.

This was closely followed by him engaging his left arm to press into the mattress as a lever and actually lifting his whole left side off the bed and then able to shimmy his backside sideways.  I said, “hold on mate you’ll be climbing out of bed if you keep this up”, to which he threw up a thumb.  What it all amounts to is Darryl’s left side is waking up and he is exercising himself in bed. 

His nurse for today sat beside his bed at one point today and said to Darryl that he was avery determined young man.  I asked Darryl on a scale of one to five, one being not very, five being extremely, how determined was he.  I don’t really need to tell you how many fingers shot up into the air…

The other treat for the day was coming into the room to find Darryl had woken up and had his eyes open looking around.  For the first time, without any prompting as such he had opened both his eyes.  Another milestone in the mountain he’s carrying away.  It is now a regular occurance for him to open his eyes (as far as he can anyway) when he is awake and not too fatigued.   

The only thing he got badly wrong today was his pick for the All Black test.  He picked the ABs to win by 10.  I’m not sure what happened to that script.  I thought his pick was pretty much on the money.  Oh well something for him to work on I suppose.

So seven weeks into this nightmare, Darryl has shown what he is and has always been made of.  There are times when I think back to Darryl prior to this tragedy and the life we knew then.  It is hard because in so many ways it seems like a world away.  In that sense it is disheartening to call on those memories because the reflection comes at the expense of accepting the reality of today.  But as these milestones are achieved a new bank of ‘Darryl’ memories begin to develop and the Darryl I knew prior to this event becomes in some ways an enhanced version of the former.  They say that traumatic brain injury often changes the personality of a person.  It is hard to see how that could be the case with Darryl because the one thing that has remained totally and utterly intact throughout, has been his character, his determination and his courage.  This is who Darryl is and in my view is the only reason he still ‘is’ and not was.   

Darryl, having fought your way back from that which most would have fallen, it is clear to me each day that what hasn’t broken you is making you.  There is not much more I would have thought you needed to ‘make’ before this, but real tragedy and adversity are the seeds from which the most meaningful of growth will sprout.  Maybe, just maybe, this experience is part of your coming of age in this regard. The test of you, that only you could withstand, because real growth comes only when you are put to and pass the test.  And pass it you will Darryl.

Keep strong and true.

Dad

Friday 12th June

Published on 12 June 2009 in Progress. 8 Comments

A few more steps of progress, a few more layers of frustration probably sums up today.  Darryl has over the past day and a half been able to lift his left leg, from his hip, right off the bed.  It would appear he may have been doing some exercises in bed.  Well that’s what he said anyway.  Alongside this he has been lifting his head and shoulders off the bed as if he is trying to sit up. 

It is fair to say he has been unsettled all week with his trachie pain, then removal, bowel pain and then bladder infection, all of which inhibit his ability to sleep restfully.  Despite this he still takes strides forward, as opposed the the baby steps I keep speaking of.  The concern being that too much stress on his healing brain and fatigued body now, can have a huge impact on progress in the long run.  Rest and sleep is really so important at this stage and something I am focused on trying to ensure is achieved as much as possible.

Today saw some good signs with his voice and he has been making some quiet mumblings and is trying incredibly hard with the speech therapists to engage his voice in humming and talking.  They have been really impressed with his efforts.  What a difference it will make when this happens.  I am sure it will come, but like all in this process, it is nothing if it is not the ultimate test of patience.  Neither of us have been particularly good at this skill, but there is no side-stepping it on this journey.  “Carrying away small stones” is a very apt description of the mountain Darryl is beginning to move.

Having said that, his physio told me today that in all the years she has been doing this she has never seen the sort of progress Darryl is making.   That was heartening to hear, but it is important to remember that progress for someone with traumatic brain injury of this degree is seldom anything but painfully slow.  So degrees of painfully slow is still a test for all, not least Darryl who is slowly breaking free of the chains of this injury.

Darryl, these days will be etched into my mind forever, but I hope that the memories of pain and frustration you feel each day will fade away as the ground you recover becomes more friendly to your body and mind.  Your strength is unquestioned, but mine struggles as I sit on and watch you calling on it every hour of every day.  I wish I could do more.  I wish I could take the weight off your shoulders.  I just wish I could.

Keep passing the test of you Darryl.

Dad

Wednesday 10th – Thursday 11th June

Published on 12 June 2009 in Progress. 17 Comments

I hope missing a day hasn’t caused too much concern to you all.  I know how so many of you are following us along and are a part of this journey too.  Unfortunately after a couple of big days I got home last night and thought I’d just have a wee lie down and fell into a deep sleep.  I woke around 9.30 and crawled into bed.  I am not normally someone who needs much sleep.  Well What I should say is that over the years I’ve got used to having bugger all of it, but there has been a couple of times over this past seven weeks where I have just hit the wall.  Yesterday was one of them. 

Anyway, to more important matters.  Darryl is feeling much better now the trachie is out and he is back at rehab, however he has been having trouble with pain in his lower stomach.  I have struggled over the last two days to try and work out what is going on.  I thought it may be a stomach ache from constipation but that was remedied and the pain increased.  Process of elimination had me feeling it could be some sort of urinary tract infection. 

I don’t know much about them, but by way of body language, finger signals and observations it seemed more and more apparent the centre of the pain was originating from that area.  My suspicions were heightened at physio when after explaining some of the symptoms she suggest that it could be a possiblity.  Anyway without wanting get get too descriptive about this it was confirmed tonight that he did and he is on antibiotics for it and some additional pain relief.  What a relief to finally get to the bottom of it.

Last night when I left I was so frustrated and upset that I couldn’t seem to pin point the issue with his pain.  I feel so utterly helpless and to be honest feel that I am letting Darryl down if I can’t be there for him by getting to the bottom of his pain or discomfort.  I sat there yesterday just watching him trying to pick up on his body language and as I sat at the end of his bed he raised his left arm above his head and with great control used his fingers to raise both eyelids so he could see.  He raised his head off the pillow looked straight at me.   I could see the pain, frustration and anguish in his eyes as they met with mine.

While the action itself is a remarkable indication of how far he has come, the  sadness of looking at my son, a previously Greek God-like teen with the world at this feet, reduced to having to lift his own eyelids with his one good arm so he could see where his Dad was, just broke my heart.  It was all I could do not to just burst into tears right at that moment.     

It is so hard sometimes not to just melt into tears of sorrow and hurt.  Yes he is making great progress considering.  Yes he is still here.  But there are those moments when all that I am as a father is torn at the seams in the sense that no parent ever wants to see their child so far from the person you know them to be, unable to  just make it all better.  I am not meaning to beat myself up over it or feel the slightest bit of self pity.  Not at all.  I’m just being Dad, who wishes his son didn’t have to take this particular road.

The bottom line is though, he is on this road and most importantly it is leading back to all of us.  Like any road, sometimes the twists, turns and potholes will make it uncomfortable, but nonetheless it is still a road and it leads to the destination which is what we are focused on.

This afternoon when Brenna came back after Catherine and her had returned from up North where they had gone back to say goodbye to the kindy kids, Darryl opened his eyes for her and started to make some sounds.  It appeared to be monumental effort for him to get sounds out but he did, which brought utter joy to Brenna and giggles of delight. 

Just a day ago Catherine had rung to say that Brenna had had a meltdown (understandable given the stress and changes to her life also) but mostly because she wanted to come back and see Darryl and hear his voice.  She was sobbing uncontrollably  because she said she couldn’t remember what Darryl’s voice sounded like and she wanted him to talk again.  In the end she decided that she could hear him on a video that we had taped last Christmas and she thought it would be good to play Darryl the video as well so he could remember what he sounded like himself.  Amazing!

So having decided that she settled down.  It was all the more significant today then when she arrived and Darryl made sounds that was as close to Darryl’s ‘normal’ tones as she could have hoped for.  It was pure delight watching the happiness on her face and seeing Darryl looking at her as she giggled with  joy.

Physio was very good again, and again he did more than the last time and is getting more movement in his legs and control over his left arm.  He has had botox injections in his right bicep and right calf to stop the muscles pulling so tightly so we can stretch them back out as the botox stops the nerves in the muscles firing for two to three months.  With one of the injections he let out a loud “argh”!!! which was terrible, but great all at once. 

There will be much more to report tomorrow, but I want to thank you all for your words of encouragement.  It is hard to read them to Darryl at times  without shedding tears myself, but they, and you are an important part of his healing.  My sincere thanks to you.

Darryl, you have been having your ups and downs, but you are still heading in the right direction.  The courage you show is matched only by the silent determination that lives in every breath you take.  I walk alongside you in constant admiration of your unquestionable character and will to succeed, through this and no doubt anything else that life might throw at you.

Love you always.

Dad

Tuesday 9th June

Published on 10 June 2009 in Progress. 20 Comments

….And then, in a blink the trachie was gone. 

After a number of days on a trachie weaning regime, today Darryl was taken back to hospital to have the trachie removed.  This process was going to happen at the rehab, but to expedite the matter and ensure safety we went through to Auckland Hospital to have this procedure done and the monitored for 24 hours.

I rode with Darryl in the ambulance, feeling every single pebble in the road as we went.  If anyone has the inclination, I think there is millions to be made for the person who can invent a suspension system for an ambulance that actually works!!  When we arrived at the hospital it was with a feeling of disconcerting unease that I entered the halls of the hospital.  This heightened as we exited the lifts to the part of the neuro ward where I first entered the critical care ward 6 weeks ago.

Strangely enough, the tightening of the chest and twisting of the stomach that became part of my daily routine while Darryl was in hospital, subsided quickly as the realisation that Darryl had come so far since those horror days and as a result, fear had drifted away to a large extent.   As if to test myself, as we wheeled Darryl past, I looked straight down the hallway to the entrance to critical care (something I couldn’t do for the four weeks Darryl was in hospital)  and I was pleasantly surprised to feel nothing but relief.  In fact even a little joy, as you would feel if you had achieved a goal.  I savoured that little moment, and gave Darryl’s hand a little squeeze, which ironically was all he was able to do to me to communicate his fight for life was in tact while he was in that ward.

As we got to the HDU I found myself wanting to gather staff around to see just how far Darryl had come.  It was an odd feeling, but quite nice at the same time.  Almost like a high school old boy coming back to the school and visiting the staff room to share in life after graduation.  Holly, his occupational therapist and Anna his lead physio along with a couple of nurses came to visit and were just thrilled with his progress, something they of course have also been responsible for.  Another few moments to savour.

In any event the trachie removal was very underwhelming and once he had the whole in his throat blocked up with some small bandages, Darryl made his first tiny murmurs.  Nothing discernable as actual words of course, but bloody good enough for me!  He signalled with his thumb he was trying to talk and as the next hour or so passed his murmurs grew louder and more purposeful.  Hopefully this is the beginnings of a talking recovery.  I’m sure it will be.

Brook, who came to see him also and I shared a few laughs with Darryl and it wasn’t too long before he drifted off to sleep with a few leg stretches and then we were treated to him snoring!  What a great sound.  Just to hear his normal contented snore was so satisfying.  He was resting like I haven’t seen him before when I left the hospital at 9.30 pm.  Bloody great really!! 

The other highlight for the day was when he got a surprise visit from friends from up home, Dave, Darcy and Ken.  They were down with the Taipa Area School first XV and them and two of the players from the team came to give Darryl a first XV shirt.  Darryl was asleep when they got there, but woke hearing their voices and once I raised him up in the bed he held his head up, opened his eyes and shook the hands of the visitors as best he could and gave a series of good thumbs up to their questions.  He proudly took the shirt from Dave’s hand and even gave them a wave as they left the room.  Another special moment and yet again a step forward in his eye opening capacity.  Thanks guys, I know it meant a lot to Darryl to have your support.

So another good day and a really positive one in terms of the trachie removal which was smooth and no doubt has removed a lot of the pain and discomfort he has been feeling.

Darryl, you have come so far from those early days that were filled with fear and uncertainty.  Each step forward you take gives me further belief in you and the depth of character you possess.  The test of you is one you pass on a daily basis, without faltering, without hesitating, without question.  And now without a trachie!   

Nice one mate.

Dad.

Monday 8th May

Published on 9 June 2009 in Progress. 10 Comments

We have been at this facility now for two weeks and a lot of good progress has been made. I have drawn up a weekly list of milestones that Darryl has achieved and week one was on one page, but week two took up two pages. Both in terms of what extra things he is able to do and the importance of those things, Darryl is doing very well.

Today he went up to the gym and performed a number of tasked aimed at not only establishing his range of movement but also his mental capacity to process the commands given. For example, with your left hand touch your right shoulder then your left knee then your stomach. He also did some weights! Mind you its the first time he’s ever used a 1kg dumbbell but, you have to start somewhere. While being supported in a seated position with me standing in front of him with my hand as a target he pushed the dumbbell in a punching motion. He did this 10 times.

For a lot of the gym session he had his eyes open of his own volition and we noticed that the direction of the eyes is starting to line up more with each other. Until now his eyes have been looking in quite different directions which again is due to the damage to the nerves that control eye function.

He again did some leg raises with his left leg and he was even able to put his hand down on his thigh to feel his muscles working as he did so. This was all followed up by some good stretches of his torso and lower back which he seemed to enjoy.

I showed the physio (like a proud father would of milestone achievements) how he could put the dog whistle in his mouth. He didn’t disappoint and repeated his efforts from Sunday.

The physio was overall very pleased with the progress seen. I was not so much surprised as relieved that what I know in my heart Darryl is capable of, he is now slowly achieving.

It is exhausting for him, but then that what bother him either. What will bother him is not moving fast enough the challenge moving forward will be a very familiar one to me, to get him do be patient for the result.

Who am I trying to kid! He got himself in this place because of his character and a he’ll get himself out the same way. I’ll just try and ensure that if he ‘falls’ I’m here to catch him this time.

Darryl, remember that the mountain you are removing has started with carrying away small stones, but it is still a mountain. The key is to take it one pile of stones at a time and when it gets heavy remember we are here to share in that load.

Keep strong mate.

Dad

Sunday 7th June

Published on 8 June 2009 in Progress. 36 Comments

The blinds finally opened!! Today for the first time Darryl was able to open his own his eyes unassisted. It was hard to believe, in fact it almost seemed unreal. But it was real. It was real.

Darryl’s best mate Eric came down with one of his dogs and I lowered Darryl’s bed down and we put a few towels around so that we could get Taz (the dog) close to Darryl. I opened Darryl’s eyes and he immediately reached out to touch Taz, then before long he was patting him and when I suggested it, he even reached out and held Taz by his rather oversized ears. Darry’ls movements were really controlled and purposeful. But when I moved to get into a better position I looked back and Darryl and noticed that his eyes were actually open. His left eye was over half open and the right was about a third. And for the next five minutes or so Darryl blinked and re-opened his eyes himself! What a thrill, what a breakthrough, what a releif.

But it didn’t end there. Darryl continued to pat Taz, but a wee while later I got out Darryl’s dog whistle and held it in front of him. He reached out and grabbed it between his thumb and forefinger and slowly moved it to his mouth. He opened his mouth and placed the whistle carefully between his teeth, sealed his lips around it and then proceeded to try and blow it. He couldn’t because his trachie is still in, but again, I just sat there with my gob open watching on with pride and happiness beaming all over the place. Shortly after that, we gave Eric a bottle of brown ‘fizzy water’ and darryl carefully took it from his hand, then moved it to his mouth, placing the end of it in his mouth and raising it up as if to drink. He then passed it back to Eric.

Shortly after that Catherine arrived with Brenna and I got Darryl to show here his one to five – fingers up and down routine, but I added a bit of maths to it. I asked what 1+1 was and he put up 2 fingers. Then 3+1, he put up 4 fingers, then 5-2 and he put up 3 fingers. All quick as a flash. Not long after Breen wanted to give Darryl a hug so we knelt her on the edge of the bed and she lay her head down on his chest. I said “give your sister a hug Darryl” and he put his arm around her gave her the first hug he has give in 6 weeks. Beautiful.

We got Taz back to see Darryl again before Eric needed to leave and Darryl continued to reach out calmly and pat him. The amazing thing was after Taz had gone that Darryl was able to reach down to the top of his thigh and rub his own leg. He has all of a suddenly got a whole range of movement and control out of his arm.

What a day! He just seems to be breaking out of the chains that have held him dormant for 6 weeks. I am really looking forward to getting that trachie out of his neck and seeing if he can get any speech back. What a difference that would make.

Darryl, today was the first time since this happened that I felt real joy. Just watching you turn your baby steps into large strides right in front of my eyes was magical. I will sleep easy tonight and tomorrow can’t come soon enough.

Love you Darryl.

Dad

Saturday 6th June

Published on 7 June 2009 in Progress. 4 Comments

Six weeks ago today. There are no words can can adequately describe the experiences that have re-shaped our lives during this time. Suffice to say that we have all been to ‘places’ we never thought existed and slowly but surely Darryl is leading us back. Thanks also to you his family, friends and supporters who have joined us in this journey.

Today was a quiet one. On the weekends he doesn’t do physio so there is little to report. He continues to communicate to us, but now uses a range of finger signals. He is very aware of what is happening around him and although the damage to the nerves that control his eye function mean that he is struggling to open his eyes on his own, each day he seems more able to keep them partially open (after we open them for him). His blink is getting stronger and stronger and it would appear that damage in this area may be starting to heal.

He slept well for most of the day, which is fantastic because good sleep at this stage is time for good healing. I do feel that he has turned something of a corner and when this trachie comes out, I think he will feel a lot more comfortable as well. I am looking forward to next week when he gets back to the gym for stretching and activity. I know he gets a lot out of it physically and mentally and that all has to be good for this healing process.

So a quiet settled day with not too much to report other than the fact that now I am writing about his recovery and the progress he is making. Just a few short weeks ago I was writing about his fight for life and the nightmare he was trapped in. I can’t tell you how much relief I feel in writing now, as a result.

I has been hard not to question so much over this time and the cruelty of life that it should strike down such fine young guy, but I have NEVER and will never question the spirit, strength and unfaltering courage of my son. That is a cure if I ever saw one!

Proud of you mate.

Dad

Friday 5th June

Published on 6 June 2009 in Progress. 18 Comments

One small step for those afflicted by traumatic brain injury, one huge step for Darryl!  Today while seated in his famed lazy boy on wheels the physio asked Darryl to try lifting his foot off the footrest.  I held my breath and watched like my life depended on it, but in the back of my mind knowing the most I had got him to do with his feet was wiggle his toes.  My eyes welled up as I saw his left leg from the knee down slowly being to rise from the footrest.  About 8 inches he raised his foot then when asked to put it back down he did. This process happened twice.  It was a beautiful thing!  My heart swelled with pride.

Today also saw another milestone with Darryl’s eyes as he managed to open his left (eye just a few millimetres), but he did it himself.  He is also now taking his first steps to removing the trachie from his neck with the cuff being deflated and he is breathing fine.  By mid next week it should be out – I hope. The speech language therapist did some work on Darryls face today as well, just gently stimulating the nerves in his face with touch.  This process is aimed at getting the many muscles in the face activated by trying to stimulate nerves in key areas.  She was pleased with the responses she saw from Darryl and is encouraged by his swallowing and tongue movements, all of which are relevant in terms of potential speech post trachie removal.

But the highlight of the day was when 4 men in black walked into his room to add their support to the mix.  Graham Henry, Tanerau Latimer, Stephen Donald and one of the management team Joe Locke.  It’s a hell of a way to get to meet the top rugby coach and players in the country Darryl.  Mind you Darryl and Graham’s paths crossed almost 6 weeks ago when he aso had occasion to be visiting a person in critical care.  Having learned of Darryls injury he wrote Darryl a note of support and encouragement which we kept under his pillow everyday.

Graham was really bouyed by Darryl’s progress saying quietly to me “He looks a hell of a lot better than the last time I saw him, well done”.  Graham Steven and Tanerau all shared words of encouragement with Darryl and we snapped off a few photos.  Darryl was then lucky enough (please excuse the obvious irony in that expression) to be given an All Blacks training jersey.  I held Darryl’s eye open as the jersey was held in front of him and then put it in front of him and said “Take it Darryl, you’ve earnt this one the hard way”.  Darryl reached out his hand in a controlled in focused way and gripped the jersey, clutching it to his chest.  Joe Locke later told me that the jersey was Graham Henry’s own and when we checked the bottom right of the hem, sure enough we saw GH embroidered into the shirt.  What an honour for Darryl, something I know would mean the world to him and will be something I hope will inspire him through the long months we have ahead.

I was touched by the sincerity of Graham and the players who made the special trip to see him.  They will never know the lift this will have given him, but I do, and I am so pleased for Darryl that they took the time to be there.  Graham set Darryl a little challenge with the upcoming test against Australia in 6 weeks time in Auckland.  He wants Darryl to be able to watch that game, so the challenge is there and if I know Darryl, he will do his utmost to rise to it.  Lets face it, he’s already risen to places thought beyond him.

Tonight he is resting well, his sleep so much more healing in it’s calmness and his shattered world somehow more together than it has been for weeks.  The days and months that lay ahead hold so much more promise of hope and possiblity when this calm is with him, so long may it remain.

Darryl, 6 weeks tomorrow since D-Day.  In all my life I have never known so much hurt, anguish, sorrow and fear.  For each horror emotion however, you have countered it with your courage, will and strength to a point that the belief I have always had in you has been galvanised beyond destruction.  There is no medicine or doctor in the world that can replicate the formula you are applying to claw back each inch of your recovery.  For no doctor could replicate the you, in you.

I’m proud of you Darryl, because you are you.

Dad