I hope missing a day hasn’t caused too much concern to you all. I know how so many of you are following us along and are a part of this journey too. Unfortunately after a couple of big days I got home last night and thought I’d just have a wee lie down and fell into a deep sleep. I woke around 9.30 and crawled into bed. I am not normally someone who needs much sleep. Well What I should say is that over the years I’ve got used to having bugger all of it, but there has been a couple of times over this past seven weeks where I have just hit the wall. Yesterday was one of them.
Anyway, to more important matters. Darryl is feeling much better now the trachie is out and he is back at rehab, however he has been having trouble with pain in his lower stomach. I have struggled over the last two days to try and work out what is going on. I thought it may be a stomach ache from constipation but that was remedied and the pain increased. Process of elimination had me feeling it could be some sort of urinary tract infection.
I don’t know much about them, but by way of body language, finger signals and observations it seemed more and more apparent the centre of the pain was originating from that area. My suspicions were heightened at physio when after explaining some of the symptoms she suggest that it could be a possiblity. Anyway without wanting get get too descriptive about this it was confirmed tonight that he did and he is on antibiotics for it and some additional pain relief. What a relief to finally get to the bottom of it.
Last night when I left I was so frustrated and upset that I couldn’t seem to pin point the issue with his pain. I feel so utterly helpless and to be honest feel that I am letting Darryl down if I can’t be there for him by getting to the bottom of his pain or discomfort. I sat there yesterday just watching him trying to pick up on his body language and as I sat at the end of his bed he raised his left arm above his head and with great control used his fingers to raise both eyelids so he could see. He raised his head off the pillow looked straight at me. I could see the pain, frustration and anguish in his eyes as they met with mine.
While the action itself is a remarkable indication of how far he has come, the sadness of looking at my son, a previously Greek God-like teen with the world at this feet, reduced to having to lift his own eyelids with his one good arm so he could see where his Dad was, just broke my heart. It was all I could do not to just burst into tears right at that moment.
It is so hard sometimes not to just melt into tears of sorrow and hurt. Yes he is making great progress considering. Yes he is still here. But there are those moments when all that I am as a father is torn at the seams in the sense that no parent ever wants to see their child so far from the person you know them to be, unable to just make it all better. I am not meaning to beat myself up over it or feel the slightest bit of self pity. Not at all. I’m just being Dad, who wishes his son didn’t have to take this particular road.
The bottom line is though, he is on this road and most importantly it is leading back to all of us. Like any road, sometimes the twists, turns and potholes will make it uncomfortable, but nonetheless it is still a road and it leads to the destination which is what we are focused on.
This afternoon when Brenna came back after Catherine and her had returned from up North where they had gone back to say goodbye to the kindy kids, Darryl opened his eyes for her and started to make some sounds. It appeared to be monumental effort for him to get sounds out but he did, which brought utter joy to Brenna and giggles of delight.
Just a day ago Catherine had rung to say that Brenna had had a meltdown (understandable given the stress and changes to her life also) but mostly because she wanted to come back and see Darryl and hear his voice. She was sobbing uncontrollably because she said she couldn’t remember what Darryl’s voice sounded like and she wanted him to talk again. In the end she decided that she could hear him on a video that we had taped last Christmas and she thought it would be good to play Darryl the video as well so he could remember what he sounded like himself. Amazing!
So having decided that she settled down. It was all the more significant today then when she arrived and Darryl made sounds that was as close to Darryl’s ‘normal’ tones as she could have hoped for. It was pure delight watching the happiness on her face and seeing Darryl looking at her as she giggled with joy.
Physio was very good again, and again he did more than the last time and is getting more movement in his legs and control over his left arm. He has had botox injections in his right bicep and right calf to stop the muscles pulling so tightly so we can stretch them back out as the botox stops the nerves in the muscles firing for two to three months. With one of the injections he let out a loud “argh”!!! which was terrible, but great all at once.
There will be much more to report tomorrow, but I want to thank you all for your words of encouragement. It is hard to read them to Darryl at times without shedding tears myself, but they, and you are an important part of his healing. My sincere thanks to you.
Darryl, you have been having your ups and downs, but you are still heading in the right direction. The courage you show is matched only by the silent determination that lives in every breath you take. I walk alongside you in constant admiration of your unquestionable character and will to succeed, through this and no doubt anything else that life might throw at you.
Love you always.
Dad
It rained all day here in Belgium but I could smell the wet poplar trees and they took me home to New Zealand for a while … and that’s always good.
So here I am, at the end of a long and extraordinary day where I learned I will be moving to Berlin in November for 2 months to work as a documentary photographer in an exhibition in a huge museum there … now I’m sitting in the sun that finally reappeared, reading the words of a kiwi dad who wishes he was more than an anchor, a guide and a devoted father to his son and who seems to be sad he isn’t a doctor too. I know what you mean but your instincts have served Darryl so well, and again with diagnosing the infection.
Maybe everyone else is used to your high expectations but the family I read of here on your blog appear to be a rather extraordinary family. How do we tell you that Darryl’s progress and your family’s strength reads phenomenal … all of you, even wise Brenna despite being so young and Catherine too.
I prefer not to cry, it’s a family thing but I come here and my eyes fill with tears as I read of another huge stride on your journey. I do believe they are tears of delight.
Repeat after me maybe … ‘ we are a phenomenal family doing extraordinary things in difficult times’
Darryl, you are doing so well, stay strong – Belgian beer and chocolate to follow asap, and if possible, I’ll enclose some of this northern hemisphere summer for the room.
Take care
Di
Hi guys.You and your son are amazing people Mike you for telling your story so well, feel it will help alot of people who”s loved one is in a coma, love reading it,and sharing your amazing update,
Darryl for being a strong you man fighting to come out of the coma, keep fighter, you are young and have alot of people praying and support you, in thoughts everyday,
hey, Mike. I guess the pain that Darryl having won’t least long ay. I guess it must be hard for you to see Darryl is suffeing in the pain but if you just imagine that he will be going fine again in not a long time won’t make you feel better? If you look back the improvement from day one to now. I think you should happy with that. My whole point is just don’t think about too negative and things that you have been through with Darryl from day one to now, you already being a good father already
Hi Mike, it is probably better that Darryl is feeling pain, than nothing at all aye???
Keep up the good work mate!
Kia kaha!!!
Love and regards!!! Bill Thurston.
Morning D A Z Z L A
Yeah Baby!! Opening your eyes by yourself – HUGE Mate
You’ve got this Darryl, You can do it!!
Hi again all We all recon Mike when Darryl starts talking you will not be able to stop him and get a word in. Your getting there darryl.Great stuff. Just to let your know Josh has been selected for the trials of the secondary schools Blues unda 18s old northern regions. He is having a great season so far for Rosmini firsts. And this is a kid with a permanent disability. Was never to play rugby. Rowan and I are so Proud. of his achievements. and His courage. Sabin boys have so much fight and strength in their blood its amazing to see. No he wants to be a cop. Like your dad was. I might put my foot down there. Mike you as a dad are doing an amazing job and i know Darryl will never forget all this. Hope to catch up soon take care
On the road trip to hell you were on , a U turn occured and the destination has changed to a better place.
Mike – the driver of the vehicle , as you said many twists and turns and potholes to negotiate ,its great to see you stopping now and then to rest.
Catherine and Brenna ,the patient passengers.
Darryl, the big kid in the back seat saying “Are we there yet ? are we there yet ?”.
Well Darryl not quite BUT nearly – not much longer.
Hang in there
Hi Darryl, much love steph and lance
Mike,
Darryl is so fortunate to have you monitoring him so closely that his discomfort is picked up so quickly and potential problems are getting nipped in the bud.
Frustrating though it is to try and work through each mystery as they present, you are doing an awesome job, all your skills of detection are serving you well alongside your incredible instincts – your next challenge is to listen to your own body and get good rest when you can, join Darryl at nap time to put your batteries on trickle charge regularly
Darryl’s journey is scary but as I’m sure, as it was when he had scary times as a small child, he knows he has you and the rest of the family to bring him through this battle as safely as possible.
Well done Brenna, such a wise wee girl to think of the video to remind both her and Darryl what he sounds like, you’re amazing and I look forward to hearing your big brother is sounding more familiar to you, it sounds like that has already begun.
You are such a strong family, exactly what Darryl needs right now.
Keep well
Kia Kaha Darryl
I know a little of that feeling of, although things are getting better, sometimes everything just overwhelms you and no amount of positive input from others really hits the mark. All I can say it, ‘this too will pass’! You are all doing a fantastic job.
Keep up the good work and God bless you all.
Sue.
Hi Dazzla,
Damn it’s been freezing here the last couple of days, can’t stop shivering. There’s a real icy chill in the air.
I look back to the night before your accident and the conversation we had and all the different things we talked about. On one hand it seems like such a long time ago but on the other I remember it so clearly that it seems like it was so much more recent.
I hope you are feeling as well as you can, considering this shit thing that happened to you that just wasn’t fair! You didn’t deserve it and it sucks that it happened to you, but YOU being the incredible person that you are, are dealing with it and doing what you need to do to get yourself better. Unbelievable!
Please just remember that we are all still here for you, walking behind you in this journey, holding a steady hand on your back. When you’re ready and if it’s something you want I’d Love to join you up front, and come and see you again, but perhaps you will need a lot of time for yourself and that’s all good to, whatever you want. Cus you’ve done the hard yards, so now it’s our turn to be there for you.
Keep striving Dazzla, it will all be over soon.
Love Lulu*.
Like Hayley said, You’ve got this Dazzla, You’ve got it in the bag!!
It’s only up and up from here.
Whoo hoo so exciting.
Hey Darryl,
I was texting your dad yesterday and said what an inspiration you are to me, and so many others. I guess you feel the last 6 weeks or so you haven’t been doing much! but actually you have had a really profound impact on me and helped me get through what was a pretty dark time in my life. Through your accident and your super human fight for recovery, I have been able to log in and read each day the courage and strength you bring to each day to keep recovering. Each day you make an improvement on the last and give us all something to celebrate with you. For me, this has been profound as you have helped me realise that at some point in my own recovery I had given up, and I had stopped trying to make my own injury any better. I had gotten to a point where things were good enough and I hadn’t even realised that I was settling for that and given up on being any better. Darryl you have shown me a great lesson and motivated me that until I am back to 110% then I need to keep stiriving each day to improve on the last. And now each day I do something too that is going to help me be the best I can be that day.
The other way you inspire me each day is to remember that whilst we all have problems and issues of varying degrees and types, it is a persons attitude to them that makes all the difference. You will never truly know how much your sharing of your fight has helped me fight too, put things in perspective and helped me remember that no thing is insurmountable when your heart is big, and your mind strong. Your big heart, and strong mind have some days literally kept me going too. One day we will talk more but recovery is long, hard, painful and soooooo frustrating – but one day you look back and won’t even be able to remember how far you have come. And you will know it was a hard fought battle that you won. Love Kristin
AMAZING!!
What a huge achieviment for such a short period of time!
tears were streming down my face,tears of releif,joy(they incresed when i read your coment lulu,about the photo of us at the naming ceremony,so very true)my family saw me in tears and thorght the worst until i yelled out ‘hes opened his eyes,his traunicays out!!’i cant beleive it darryl youve blown us all out of the water but thats who you are and always have been,from the moment i met you at cris’s i new hes going to be a very good friend of mine,and thats exectly what you are,remember that d
think about you non stop,
love always miss you
bon:)
From Team Clarkie to Team Sabin
Mike, you’re the strongest person I know. Darryl you’re the bravest person I know.
Darryl I used to tell Aaron that when he was where you are. Now it’s your turn.
You are all a fantastic team. Darryl will be fine because of you.
Much love
Raye
Pleased to hear you’ve had another rest Mike – we all need it, and it will make things clearer and put everything in perspective.
You’re a real trouper in every way
All our love and support
We’ve got your back!!!
Good on you Darryl, You’re doing awesome!
Pleased to hear of ever-more improvements, keep up the great progress!! You are never far from our thoughts; but personally reckon you’re in the best place at the moment bro coz the weather’s been absolute #*@?!! lately- thunder n lightning and raining hard out!! (not that you’d mind though aye? haha)
Ahwell watching the league at the moment- looks like the Warriors are finally going to have a good win- they’ve been playing well- woohoo! Off to watch the rest of the game!
See you later dude, take care…
Love & support Gem oxo